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Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Kids say the Cutest Things!
So the other day I was sitting at one of the tables in my classroom with a group of my kids and we where making Fathers Day gifts. Now I know I know Fathers day is not for a while however because we are not in school on Fathers day we have a dad's to lunch day this Thursday and we are making gifts for them. That being said we where sitting at the table coloring our cars (and when I say our I mean me as well) and we where talking about our dads when one of my little boys asked if I had a dad. To which I replied yes I do but he is in heaven. Then one little boy chimed in and said with Jesus right? I said yeah he is. Then we got on a whole conversation about why my dad died and I said because he got really sick and went to be with Jesus. Now I have to say that I have had many of these conversations with kids since my dad has past away and for a couple years I would get tears in my eyes as I talked about it. But this time it was such a week little conversation that it actually made me feel good to talk about him! :) So we continued to talk for a while about it and then out of the blue one of my little girls goes yeah he is in heaven and Jesus is protecting him. How sweet is that! It totally made my day! :)
Monday, April 6, 2009
Pictures! I love you daddy!
Beautiful flowers from an amazing family! I wish they where for another anniversery however ti means so much that they remembered! Thank you so much Ryan, Crystal, and Sarah! I love you all and I am blessed to have you in my life!
My dad and I about a year and a half before he past away! I love you daddy and will always be your little girl!
My dad and I about a year and a half before he past away! I love you daddy and will always be your little girl!
April 6th, 2004 ....... You will never be forgotten Daddy!
This year will mark the 5th year anniversary of my dads death. I have never written down my version of what happen that night so I thought I would do it as a memory to my amazing daddy. Bare with me there might be a lot of tears shed during this post so I am sorry if it does not all make sense.
April 6th, 2004 the worst day of my life.....
Lets start with the night of April 5th ....... That day my dad had gotten a new cell phone so of course he was in his den playing with it so I decided to go and sit on his lap. Mind you I was 18 years old and a little bigger then a 5 year old but I did not care I still cuddled with him often. As I was sitting on his lap he was just playing with his phone as I layed my head on his shoulder. This is what we did many nights after dinner and homework where done. After about 30 minutes I decided to go downstairs and hang out in my room. I said good night to my dad and mom and headed down not giving my dad a kiss or hug goodnight.
At about 2 o'clock in the morning I was woken up by our family dog barking outside the window. I laid in bed for a few minutes thinking oh he probably has to go potty so mom took him out. Well when the barking continued I knew something was wrong. I started to get out of bed when I felt like I just need to stay put and call my mom and dad on their cell phones which I did. I called both phones several times when finally Sally answered my dads phone. Which of course I thought was weird because it was so early in the morning. I asked her what she was doing there and where my dad was. All she could say was pray. At that point I started to get scared I told her just to tell me that my mom and dad where okay and again all she said was pray. A few seconds later Michael her husband came into my bedroom and sat down on my bed. He proceeded to tell me that my dad had a heart attack and that there where paramedics working on him.
I then pick up my cell phone to call my older brother Matt who lives in California. I told him what I knew through my tears which he could barely understand. He told me to go get mom so I did. I walked to the bottom of our stairs and called up to my mom. She came to the top of the stairs and I told her that Matt wanted to talk to her. She came down and sat on the couch and I sat next to her. The next thing I heard was Matt it does not look good you need to get here. At which point I threw myself on the floor and began to sob uncontrollably. I knew that it was bad but I still did not think that he was dead I just thought he might be in a wheel chair or something.
My mom then hung up the phone with him and told me that she was going to follow the ambulance to the hospital and that I needed to get ready and go with Dean and Darla to the hospital. I then called my friend Maly cause I knew that I need someone with me. She answered and I told her what was happening she called into work and met me at my house. Once she got there I got into her truck and we drove to the hospital.
When we reach the parking lot I froze I did not want to get out of the car because I thought if I stayed there everything would be okay! I was afraid of what I might see when I walked into the emergency room. Maly grab my hand and told me that it would all be okay that my dad would be fine. Which motivated me to continue to walk in. As the glass door opened Michael stood at the door and told me I am sorry Jinny they where unable to revive him he is gone. I could not control myself. I barred myself into a corn and scream and cried. This could not be happening to me not my daddy.
My mom then came out of the room my dad was in and asked if I would like to go say goodbye. As we walked back to the room I got weak at the knees and could not walk. What was I going to see. My daddy was going to be laying there on the bed dead. I thought that if I did not go back he would wake up and everything would be fine. After a few minutes I felt okay I decided I could go back. As I walk into the room there was my daddy laying there with no life in his body. He had a tub in his mouth and his eyes where close. I went over to him and layed my head on his chest. I layed there for about an hour and cried on his chest. How could this be happening. I has to be a dream.
I laid there and asked my mom who was going to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day? Who was going to be my kids grandpa like my daddy always promised he would be? Who was going to be there to watch me graduate from high school in less then a month?
After about an hour I sat up and realized that there where more people in there then when we had come in. They where all there listening and crying with me. A little while later we said our final good byes and walked out the door. We all went and sat in the waiting room while my mom and I passed Kale Palmer back and forth and cried.
My mom was asked if we wanted to go home by ourselves or if we wanted people to come with us. She said she did not want us to go bye ourselves and she did not want to be left alone. Everyone come home with us and people started to make phone calls.
Still to this day it does not feel real. There are days when I think that I can just go home and he will be there waiting. When I have a bed day all I want is to go home and sit in his lap again. Just to tell him that I love him and that I miss him so much. Words can never express the pain, hurt and loss that I have gone through. There are days when all I want is a daddy hug and I can't have one. Or days when I see dads and their daughters interact and I want to cry. I miss those times.
After five years the pain has not gotten any better. I miss him every day and I will never forget him as long as I live. I can't wait for the day when we will be joined together again. My advice to you is never take a DAY for granted. Live everyday like it is your last and always tell the people you love that you love them.
My dad was an amazing man who will never be forgotten. He changed this world one person at a time and he loved what he did. He loved the people he served and he loved his family. He taught me a lot about life and truly had an impact on the women I am today.
I love you daddy and I will never forget you! See you soon!
April 6th, 2004 the worst day of my life.....
Lets start with the night of April 5th ....... That day my dad had gotten a new cell phone so of course he was in his den playing with it so I decided to go and sit on his lap. Mind you I was 18 years old and a little bigger then a 5 year old but I did not care I still cuddled with him often. As I was sitting on his lap he was just playing with his phone as I layed my head on his shoulder. This is what we did many nights after dinner and homework where done. After about 30 minutes I decided to go downstairs and hang out in my room. I said good night to my dad and mom and headed down not giving my dad a kiss or hug goodnight.
At about 2 o'clock in the morning I was woken up by our family dog barking outside the window. I laid in bed for a few minutes thinking oh he probably has to go potty so mom took him out. Well when the barking continued I knew something was wrong. I started to get out of bed when I felt like I just need to stay put and call my mom and dad on their cell phones which I did. I called both phones several times when finally Sally answered my dads phone. Which of course I thought was weird because it was so early in the morning. I asked her what she was doing there and where my dad was. All she could say was pray. At that point I started to get scared I told her just to tell me that my mom and dad where okay and again all she said was pray. A few seconds later Michael her husband came into my bedroom and sat down on my bed. He proceeded to tell me that my dad had a heart attack and that there where paramedics working on him.
I then pick up my cell phone to call my older brother Matt who lives in California. I told him what I knew through my tears which he could barely understand. He told me to go get mom so I did. I walked to the bottom of our stairs and called up to my mom. She came to the top of the stairs and I told her that Matt wanted to talk to her. She came down and sat on the couch and I sat next to her. The next thing I heard was Matt it does not look good you need to get here. At which point I threw myself on the floor and began to sob uncontrollably. I knew that it was bad but I still did not think that he was dead I just thought he might be in a wheel chair or something.
My mom then hung up the phone with him and told me that she was going to follow the ambulance to the hospital and that I needed to get ready and go with Dean and Darla to the hospital. I then called my friend Maly cause I knew that I need someone with me. She answered and I told her what was happening she called into work and met me at my house. Once she got there I got into her truck and we drove to the hospital.
When we reach the parking lot I froze I did not want to get out of the car because I thought if I stayed there everything would be okay! I was afraid of what I might see when I walked into the emergency room. Maly grab my hand and told me that it would all be okay that my dad would be fine. Which motivated me to continue to walk in. As the glass door opened Michael stood at the door and told me I am sorry Jinny they where unable to revive him he is gone. I could not control myself. I barred myself into a corn and scream and cried. This could not be happening to me not my daddy.
My mom then came out of the room my dad was in and asked if I would like to go say goodbye. As we walked back to the room I got weak at the knees and could not walk. What was I going to see. My daddy was going to be laying there on the bed dead. I thought that if I did not go back he would wake up and everything would be fine. After a few minutes I felt okay I decided I could go back. As I walk into the room there was my daddy laying there with no life in his body. He had a tub in his mouth and his eyes where close. I went over to him and layed my head on his chest. I layed there for about an hour and cried on his chest. How could this be happening. I has to be a dream.
I laid there and asked my mom who was going to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day? Who was going to be my kids grandpa like my daddy always promised he would be? Who was going to be there to watch me graduate from high school in less then a month?
After about an hour I sat up and realized that there where more people in there then when we had come in. They where all there listening and crying with me. A little while later we said our final good byes and walked out the door. We all went and sat in the waiting room while my mom and I passed Kale Palmer back and forth and cried.
My mom was asked if we wanted to go home by ourselves or if we wanted people to come with us. She said she did not want us to go bye ourselves and she did not want to be left alone. Everyone come home with us and people started to make phone calls.
Still to this day it does not feel real. There are days when I think that I can just go home and he will be there waiting. When I have a bed day all I want is to go home and sit in his lap again. Just to tell him that I love him and that I miss him so much. Words can never express the pain, hurt and loss that I have gone through. There are days when all I want is a daddy hug and I can't have one. Or days when I see dads and their daughters interact and I want to cry. I miss those times.
After five years the pain has not gotten any better. I miss him every day and I will never forget him as long as I live. I can't wait for the day when we will be joined together again. My advice to you is never take a DAY for granted. Live everyday like it is your last and always tell the people you love that you love them.
My dad was an amazing man who will never be forgotten. He changed this world one person at a time and he loved what he did. He loved the people he served and he loved his family. He taught me a lot about life and truly had an impact on the women I am today.
I love you daddy and I will never forget you! See you soon!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Thankful Thursdays!
This Thursday I am thankful for the ability to have emotions! It amazes me that God has made us to have feelings! To express our selves in so many different ways! So this Thursday I am thankful for EMOTIONS.....
~ Silly .... those times where you feel like you are out of your skin and so funny to be around!
~ Excited ..... to be able to know that what is happening or what is going to happen is from God and is an exciting adventure!
~ Happy ..... I love to smile and laugh weather it be at myself or at someone else it is always fun to laugh and be happy!
~ Love ..... to be able to feel and know love!
~ Sadness ..... that God knows our deepest hurts and that He loves us and walks with us through it
~ Frustration .... most times it is at myself but sometimes life can just be frustrating
~ Mad ..... although I might get mad it does not last for long, I am a red head you know but no matter what I still love! :)
I am so thankful that God created me in his own imagine! That He gave me a spirit and a body! That He allows me to decided what my emotion is and how long I will let it control me weather it be good or bad! That He is a loving God and an every lasting Father!
~ Silly .... those times where you feel like you are out of your skin and so funny to be around!
~ Excited ..... to be able to know that what is happening or what is going to happen is from God and is an exciting adventure!
~ Happy ..... I love to smile and laugh weather it be at myself or at someone else it is always fun to laugh and be happy!
~ Love ..... to be able to feel and know love!
~ Sadness ..... that God knows our deepest hurts and that He loves us and walks with us through it
~ Frustration .... most times it is at myself but sometimes life can just be frustrating
~ Mad ..... although I might get mad it does not last for long, I am a red head you know but no matter what I still love! :)
I am so thankful that God created me in his own imagine! That He gave me a spirit and a body! That He allows me to decided what my emotion is and how long I will let it control me weather it be good or bad! That He is a loving God and an every lasting Father!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Gods Timing!
This week I have made a lot of decisions about my future! I am starting school tomorrow to get my teaching degree which I am super excited about! And I also made another step for my future that I am still waiting on! But in this time I am really having to wait on the Lord and seeking the plans He has for me!
Just like my dads favorite verse "I know the plans I have for your declares the Lord plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Now waiting on Gods timing is a lot easier said then done! So I have decided to make this my March mission! :) Allowing God to teach me how to wait on His timing! Here is what my calender says for this month.... "Align my heart with Your and give me revelation and guidance so that I nay know Your will for my life. Shine your lamp of truth where I am right now and show me the next step to take" Stormie Omartian Fancy that! The quote for this month is what I am going to be working on this month! :) God works in amazing ways!
Dear Jesus,
Teach me to be patient and to wait on your timing! Show me that your timing is better then my own! Allow me to feel your presence every morning when I wake and every night as I lay my head on my pillow! Direct my steps and guide my path!
In Jesus Name I pray, Amen!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Happy Birthday Daddy!
Okay so today is/ would be my dads 51st birthday! Man how that seems so young! However I am so thankful for the 18 years I had with a wonderful dad! He taught me so many things in those short few years that I will never forget! So today as I remember an amazing man of God and an amazing dad! I would like to share with you a few memories about my dad!
1. I remember our father daughter dates! These where nights where we would have our special time together! We would go to dinner, go to a movie, walk down town eating ice cream and making fun of the tourists, and singing in the car together with the windows rolled down. He would teach me how a boy should treat a girl like always having the girl walk on the inside of the side walk, letting the boy open the door for you and close it, and letting a boy pull out your chair for you! He showed me how to be a lady and how to look for a gentleman!
2. He was such a clean freak that he made me rack the carpet... yes you heard me right rack the carpet, with a rack that you would rack leaves with. :)
3. When he would clap his hands during worship he would not just open his hands and clap them together he would open them, then clap them and then rub his hands together once all while shaking his leg.
4. He would always shake his legs together when he was relaxing at home or even when he was going to sleep.
5. He would use mascara to color in his side burns every morning! (he would kill me if he knew I was telling you this lol)
6. We would have family nights once a week!
7. When he would be in his den watching TV I would go in there and sit on his lap all the way through the night he died!
8. When we would walk together I would try and pinch his muscles on his upper arm and he would tell me no until I gave him the puppy dogs eyes and he would say fine just one time!
9. I remember when I got my prayer language and I was laying in bed with my younger brother and my dad came in to say our good night prayers and I asked him if I could receive my prayer language and he said of course. So he prayed with Josh and I and Josh got his right away well I was not that lucky lol I started singing cumbia my lord. But eventually I did get it.
10. I loved when he would make us breakfast in the morning before school and then as we where eating he would read us our family devotional for the day! Then before I started driving we would get into the car and go around to each person and pray for our day. Then after I started driving we would pray right after breakfast together for our day!
Okay so there are many many more memories but it would go on forever so maybe someday I will write more but for now this is it! Happy Birthday Daddy! I miss you every day and can't wait for the day we will meet again! I am so blessed to have had you in my life for 18 years! You are an amazing man and your legacy will live on forever!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Thankful Thursdays!
This Thursday I am thankful for my relationship with Jesus Christ ......
...... that i can be myself and He still loves me
...... that i can tell him off and He still loves me
...... that He listens to my hurts and pains and still loves me
...... that He has created me in His imagine and loves me no matter what
...... that He is a mountain moving God who loves me
...... that I can go to Him in my darkest hour and tell Him truly how I feel and He loves me
...... that I can tell Him that I am mad at Him and He still loves me
...... that He knows I am not perfect and He still loves me
...... that He walks with me, by me, and carries me through out life and still loves me
...... that He sees my failures and still loves me
...... that no matter what HE LOVES ME!
He is my Jesus, my Savior, my Father and no matter where I go or what I do nothing will separate me from His love! I pray that everyday I will remind myself that He STILL LOVES ME and nothing will ever change that! Thank you Jesus for dying on the cross for my sins and STILL LOVING ME!
...... that i can be myself and He still loves me
...... that i can tell him off and He still loves me
...... that He listens to my hurts and pains and still loves me
...... that He has created me in His imagine and loves me no matter what
...... that He is a mountain moving God who loves me
...... that I can go to Him in my darkest hour and tell Him truly how I feel and He loves me
...... that I can tell Him that I am mad at Him and He still loves me
...... that He knows I am not perfect and He still loves me
...... that He walks with me, by me, and carries me through out life and still loves me
...... that He sees my failures and still loves me
...... that no matter what HE LOVES ME!
He is my Jesus, my Savior, my Father and no matter where I go or what I do nothing will separate me from His love! I pray that everyday I will remind myself that He STILL LOVES ME and nothing will ever change that! Thank you Jesus for dying on the cross for my sins and STILL LOVING ME!
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