Addicted!

Okay so I think that the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem right.... Well I have a problem. You see I signed up for this cool thing on line because a friend of mine decided she wanted to talk about me and my future husband and ask people on the web if they wanted to help her find me a man. So I just had to sign up because I thought that it was the only way I could tell her what I was thinking. Well come to find out after I signed up for this addiction I could have just written her as anonymous! Fancy that and now look where I am at addicted to something! Oh man oh man! I bet all of you are wondering what is this she is addicted to! Well let me just tell you........

I AM ADDICTED TO MY BLOG SPOT!

Man that felt good to just get that off of my chest! :) Now I can start recovery! :) Thanks Linn for writing about me! :)

Testimony!

So tonight I had the amazing opportunity to speak to our church youth group. The series that they are talking about is struggles. Adam asked me to talk about my dad. This is the first time besides in a small group setting that I have actually talked about my dad in front of a big group of people. I was really nervous but I made it through! ;) It actually was a lot of fun! Before I went up I just continued praying that God would speak through me what I spoke would be his words and not my own. Then He began to tell me that although I might not see a reason for my dads death this is the beginning of my ability to speak into peoples lives. That He is going to use me to show His love and faithfulness through the hardest times! It was so amazing just knowing that God is going to use my trails to speak into other peoples lives. Man God is good! Thankfully I did an internship last year and one of my classes was public speaking so I was not all that nervous just a little bit lol! However it was really amazing sitting up there looking into these kids eye some who have no hope and telling them that God did not just make them to fill up space but that He has a calling and I purpose for each of their lives!

Impatience!

Learn to be patient, so that you will please God and be given what he has promised.

Hebrews 10:36

I am still reading the book Dream Releasers and last night I started reading the chapter labeled "Dream Killers". I was totally convicted when I read one of the dream killers is impatience! Than I read this verse and it totally hit me! Not until I am patient and allow God to do his plan in his timing will be dreams come true!

Sisters?

Since I was a little girl I would ask my mom and dad to tell Santa that I wanted a sister for Christmas. Just like the little girl on miracle on 34th street! :) But my parents would always tell me that they could not have any more kids. But did I care no I just kept on praying that God would bring me a sister. Never would I imagine how he was going to do that.

My sister is not a blood sister however I would say that she is better than a blood sister she is a God sent sister. I first heard about my sister from her mom, I would go into her computer lab and she would show me pictures and tell me stories about her daughter and her family. I can still remember a picture she showed me of my sister, her husband, and her little girl. It was Halloween and they where all dressed up so cute. As I looked at the picture never would I have imagined that one day she would be my sister and my best friend.

A year or more past and still her mom would tell me all about her until one day I got to meet her for myself. I started out seeing her at church and than school started and I had her daughter in my 3 year old class. I was hooked, her little girl stole my heart and still has it. I can never get it back :) lol! After that we became youth leaders together and that lead us into a sister hood that will never be broken. We have gone through many many things together. At times I might get frustrated or upset at her but I ALWAYS know that she is there. She is my dream releaser, my shoulder to cry on, my best friend, and my sister.

I could never have dreamed up a more perfect sister. I had to wait 18 years to meet her but now that I have her I will never let go. :) I am blessed to have her in my life and I thank God every day for the privilege to know her.

Who is this sister you might ask.....

Jennifer Lynn Kline

Jen I am blessed to have you in my life and as I am writing this I have tears running down my face because words will never be able to describe how thankful I am to truly call you SISTER!

Coffee Break!

I love coffee and a good book so I thought I would tell you all about what I am reading right now. I am reading a book called dream releasers. It is such and amazing book I could go on forever about it but I won't lol! I know on one of my earlier posts I wrote about my dreams and how I have always wanted to be a wife and a mommy! Well Kim suggested that I read this book called dream releaser so I am. In the beginning of the book is a quote that I really like and that I am confessing over my life right now! So I wanted to share with you this quote.....

You are never given a dream without also being given the power to make it come true.

Richard Bach

Okay just a little coffee for thought today :)

Memories!

So many times I get so stuck on the well when this was like this and when this happened I did this that I do not allow myself or God to think outside the box. I put limitations on myself and even on God thinking well you can't or won't do that. I am not good enough for that or I am not wise enough to speak into that persons life. But now I am beginning to realize that God is God nothing is to big, to small, to stupid, or to made up for Him to accomplish. I am learning that I can do ALL things through Him. That no matter what I might be going through, coming out of, or stepping into God is big enough and when I call on He is there. I need to stop looking behind me, to the left or to the right and begin looking in front of me. At the amazing, beautiful, and wonderful things God has in store for me. No longer holding on to memories for dear life but holding on to the hand of my loving father who is saying come with me I will find you rest and comfort. I will show you who and what I have called you to BECOME not who you where. I have a plan and a hope that is MUCH BIGGER than your own. I want to be the dream re leaser and giver not the dream taker!

Okay so that is my random thought for the night! Good night! :)

Dreams!

Lately I have been really stuggling with my dreams.... will they come true? are they real dreams? how and what can i do to see my dreams come true?

Ever since I was a little girl my dream was to become a mommy and a wife. I have always wanted to have little ones to call my own. I have wanted a husband to share in my future and to build a family with. I can remember lining my baby dolls and stuffed animals up and acting like they where my class, one christmas I even asked for all teacher stuff' I would play school and than go home to my husband and kids. I can remember playing doctor with my cousins acting like we where having babies and than once we went around and all had our babies we would start playing mommys.

As I have gotten older my dream to be a mommy and wife has grown bigger and bigger. Many people say oh man you are so young you have your whole life a head of you. And you know what I want to say to that "well when you have been playing mommy and wife since you were five it feels like forever you have been dreaming of it for a million years." :) And you know who the people are who are telling me this.... they are mommies and wives they act like oh it is no big deal it will happen someday but for me it is a hard dream to wait for and say oh someday.
I was raised in a very loving and open home my family is not perfect by any means but I am blessed to call them family. I watched how my parents raised me and knew that someday I wanted to be able to raise a child like my parents have. I want to hug on them and kiss them and call them my own. I want to know that my dream to be a mommy and a wife is not just a dream that I wake up from every morning but a reality. I want to wake up next to my husband or wake up four times a night with little ones of my own. (okay after I have my own no one is allowed to hold this over my head lol) I want to know that my dream is a reality!

I know and believe that God has put this passion inside me for a reason and a purpose. I know and believe that this will come true. God is totally teaching me to be patient lol! Which I can tell you now at times I am not.

When I think of my dreams my dads favorite verse come to mind.....
For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to
harm you. Plans to give you a HOPE and a FUTURE.
Jeremiah 29:11

I know that God has given me this burning passion, this dream so that He can see it come to reality. I just have to learn to wait on the Lord and know that His timing might not be my own! (And man is this hard) However I also know that this is a dream that He has given me for this stage of my life. I now need to begin to seek His face daily and pray for this dream so that His hand will move!