Sometimes.....

But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me so that the message might be preached fully through me and that all the Gentiles might hear. Also I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion. And the Lord will deliver me from every evil work and preserve me for His kingdom. To Him be the glory forever and ever. Amen! 2 Timothy 4:17-18

Over the last few weeks I have been feeling homesick. I know that I am called here to Scottsbluff, NE and I am falling in love with all the kids in this ministry. My heart is to see them know the love of Jesus and for them to want to tell all their friends about Him.

It has been over a month since I have been here and the honeymoon stage is over. It no longer feels like a vacation and it is beginning to settle in that I am here for good. I know that I know that I know that God has big things in store not only for the future of this ministry but also for my future. However there are times where I feel so lonely and like I am not equipped or prepared to be a Children's Pastor. I love kids and I love teaching them about Jesus but there are some days where I don't feel like I am worthy of even standing in front of them.

2 Timothy 4:17-18 is a verse that I am standing on in this chapter of my journey. I know that I am where I am suppose to be and I love it here however it is hard to think about what is going on back in Durango. I miss all my kids and my friends, sometimes here I don't feel like I am not good enough to make any new friends, like I am not someone people would like to be around. I know that this is not true but it is still hard to deal with. I know that all of this is a lie from satan but I needed to get my feelings out and allow myself to feel the way I am feeling so that I don't continue to shove it down and then one day it will exploded.

I continue to stand on the fact that God is with me and will never leave me. Thank you for letting me in a since throw up on you and tell you what has been going through my mind lately.

The Calling

I am a minister. I minister to the largest mission field in the world. I minister to Children.

My calling is sure; my challenge is big; my vision is clear; my desire is strong; my influence is eternal; my impact is critical; my values are solid; my faith is tough; my mission is urgent; my purpose is unmistakable; my direction is forward; my heart is genuine; my strength is supernatural; my reward is promised; and my God is real.

In a world of cynicism, I offer hope. In a world of confusion, I offer truth. In a world of immorality, I offer values. In a world of neglect, I offer attention. In a world of abuse, I offer safety. In a world of ridicule, I offer affirmation. In a world of division, I offer reconciliation. In a world of bitterness, I offer forgiveness. In a world of sin, I offer salvation. In a world of hate, I offer God's love.

I refuse to be dismayed, disengaged, disgruntled, discouraged or distracted. Neither will I look back, stand back, fall back, go back or sit back. I do not need applause, flattery, adulation, prestige, stature, or veneration. I do not have time for business as usual, mediocre standards, small thinking, outdated methods, normal expectations, average results, ordinary ideas, petty disputes or low vision. I will not give up, give in, bail out, lie down, turn over, quit, or surrender.

I will pray when things look bad. I will pray when things look good. I will move forward when others stand still. I will trust God when obstacles arise. I will work when the task is overwhelming. I will get up when I fall down.

My calling is to reach boys and girls for God. It is too serious to be taken lightly, too urgent to be postponed, too vital to be ignored, too relevant to be overlooked, too significant to be trivialized, too eternal to be fleeting and too passionate to be quenched.

I know my mission. I know my challenge. I also know my limitations, my weaknesses, my fears and my problems. And I know my God. Let others get the praise. Let the church get the blessing. Let God get the glory.

I am a minister. I minister to children. This is who I am. This is what I do.
By: Roger Fields

The first time I read this I broke down in tears this is my hearts desire and the calling that God has placed on my life. Thank you God for calling me to love and teach your precious children. This is going to be placed in my office so that every time I look at it and read it I will be reminded on the calling God has placed on my life.