Miss. Jinny

God's Faithfulness

2011-04-07T11:18:00.000-07:00

As all of you know I went wedding dress shopping on Saturday, I had gone online to check out David's Bridal dress selection and found 4 dresses that I loved and wanted to try on. My number one favorite was $649.00, now I know that it doesn't seem like much expecally if you watch "Say Yes to the Dress." However for us and our very tight budget it was quite a bit. My loving fiance was of course very encouraging and told me that if when I tried it on I was still in love that he wanted me to buy it. So the night before we left for Fort Collins I was lying in bed not able to sleep because I was so excited and I started praying.

I thanked God for His continual faithfulness and blessings as we are planning the wedding and how He has seriously given us amazing deals on a lot of the stuff needed for the wedding. As I was laying there I prayed that God would find me the perfect dress, that I wouldn't feel fat and ugly, and that it would be less than the $600.00 dollars we had budgeted.

On the way to Fort Collins I told my friend Tami what I was praying for and right there as we where driving she also prayed out loud for the same things. When we got to the store and where introduced to Aubrey (my consultant) she asked if I had look on line at any dresses that I wanted to try on and of course I pulled out my organized notebook and showed her just what I was looking at!! :)

The first dress that I tried on was my #1 favorite from online, and to my surprise I hated it on me. It made me look like I was a straight line, it was uncomfortable and not flattering on my body type. And in the back of my mind I was thanking Jesus for it!! :) Then we tried on my second favorite dress (it was not the exact one that I wanted because they don't carry it in the store but it was one similar, the only thing that was different was the top.) Once I walked out in the dress I fell in love with the bottom but what not so much in love with this certain top, so Aubrey suggested we try on different gowns that have the top I wanted. We continued trying on all the beautiful fancy dresses and I just couldn't get that second dress out of my head. At which point I told Kristin I really like the second dress but the exact one I want they don't have in the store. Kristin being the amazing friend she is said why don't we try this, and this, and this. So we tried all of the things she suggested and wa la, it was exactly what I had envisioned.

After it was all said and done I looked at the price and it was $200.00 less then our budget. But that is just the beginning, :) once we got up to the counter to check out Aubrey said this must be your lucky day because this dress is part of our spring sale and its this much less. After everything was rang up I spent less than the $600.00 we had budgeted on everything that I need to go with the wedding dress besides the shoes and alterations. CAN I GET A YIPPPPEEEE JESUS!!! :)

Another stop we had to make was to Ross because Tami needed to get a nice professional top, she has been asked to speak in front of a bunch a big shots in a week or so and she really didn't have anything. As we got in the car and where leaving Davids Bridal I said to her "now its your turn to go shopping." All at once she started crying and said "Jinny I only have $16.50 to spend and I don't know if that will get me what I am looking for." Right then and there we stopped and I prayed for her just like she did for me. I told her that God had the perfect top picked out for her to get and that it was going to be at the right price.

We arrived at Ross and parted ways for a few minutes so that I could go and look for some wedding decorations. After I was done looking I met up with Tami and she had found the cutest top that looked totally like her. She then informed me that it was a two piece dress suit but she couldn't find the bottoms anywhere. I told her that they would probably take down the price since we couldn't find it. She went and tried it on and it was just perfect and you could see her light up. When we got up to the check stand she told the lady all about it and asked if she could reduce the price to $10.00 (originally it was marked at $29.99). The lady behind the desk took out this piece of paper and looked at it for a few seconds and then said to Tami, I can give it to you for ...... $7.99. You should have seen the looks on our faces!! We both wanted to jump up and down and scream we where so excited.

That day God reminded me that He cares about even our smallest desires and hears every single prayer we say!! :) What a faithful and loving God we serve!!! YIPPPPEEEE JESUS!!! :)

Pretty Dress Shopping and Smelly Arm Pits LOL!!!

2011-04-05T11:29:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday I got to go shopping for my pretty dress. I had a blast and was so grateful that I had my friends there to help as well as an amazing Consultant who made the day!!! :) I even got to see my friend Kristin and she was there when I picked the "dress of my dreams" as David's Bridal would call it!! :) Plus a little added bonus was we got to visit our sweet caffeine friend STARBUCKS (which we don't have in Scottsbluff)!!!

(Aubrey my amazing Consultant)

(YUMMY STARBUCKS)

There was one funny story that I had to share with everyone!!! First off before my friend got to my house to pick me up I realized that I didn't shave my arm pits so I ran back into the bathroom and had to dry shave so that I didn't have any stubs while I was trying on dresses!!! :)

Then once we where at David's Bridal I got into the amazing undergarments that they have (with Kristin's help of course) and the pretty dress trying on began. :) After about 4 dresses my arm pits started sweating really bad, and the crazy thing was that, the only thing that was sweating was my arms pits. So of course I informed the girls that I was sweating and that I was worried I was going to get B.O. I lifted up both of my arms and told Marriah (who is 10) that the reason she came with us was to be my personal arm pit fan lol!!! We all had a great giggle at that and I went back in to try on another dress. After about 2 or 3 more I started to smell myself and it was not a pleasant smell, I asked Tami if she would run and get me some deodorant and baby wipes. (We where still laughing because of course I was smelling my arm pits in public and Tami couldn't believe it hehehe) Tami being that sweet friend she is said yes and ran across the street to get me some good smelling stuff. While she was gone Aubrey (my consultant) came back with another dress and back we went into the dressing room to get the new dress on!!! :) Now if you know me you know that once I am comfortable with you I am not shy... So I proceeded to tell Aubrey that I was sorry if she smelled my B.O. and that I was working on fixing the problem!!! :) She then informed me that she couldn't smell a thing and told me about other women she has worked with that where pouring sweat through the whole fitting (like they where working out or something)!!! Which made me not feel so bad.

(This is one of the dresses I tried on but NOT the one I picked that one is a secret for the wedding day) :)

Soon after Tami came back and saved the day with a powder fresh bar and some unscented baby wipes. :) I then fixed my little problem and felt much better. :) Once I had picked out the "dress of my dreams" and I was checking out Aubrey said that she would always remember me as her powder fresh bride. :) Needless to say my pretty dress shopping was nothing less then entertaining and I am sure that Aubrey, Tami, Marriah, Kristin, and I will remember it forever!! :)

(My new powder fresh bar!!! :))

(After all the trying on Me and the Amazing Aubrey)
By the way I hate this picture of myself but I still thought I would share it!! :)
(Tami with her hand clappers as they announced over the loud speaker that I had found the "dress of my dreams")
(Marriah with her clappers, it was so much fun having her there)
(And just to brag about my man for a minute he bought me these flowers yesterday just because and had them sent to my office :)) Oh how I love that man!! ;)

I Said Yes!!!

2011-03-22T14:15:00.000-07:00

So it has been over a month since I got engaged and I am finally getting around to blogging about this very special mile stone in my life!!! On February 19th the man of my dreams asked me to marry him. Now to my knowledge he wasn't home since right now he is a truck driver. I didn't expect him home till the following weekend and I just thought that I was going out to dinner with a friend. She had told me to get all dressed up and that she would pick me up at 6 pm. I thought it was a little random but I was excited for a night out on the town. I even got a cute new top with a gift certificate I got from one of my kids for Christmas. I still had about 20 minutes before my friend was suppose to be at my house when I heard a knock on the door. I scrambled to get my shirt on because I was standing in the bathroom getting ready in pants and a bra. The tag would not come off of the new shirt that I just got so I sat and fiddled with it for a few more seconds when I heard a knock at the door again. I threw on the shirt tag and all and ran to the door to see my prince standing there. :) Now mind you I still thought I had 20 minutes to get ready so half of my hair was pinned on the top of my head because I was in the processes of straightening my hair. :) (Thankfully my man loves me no matter what I look like) :) I had a hint that something was coming so I quickly finished getting ready and we headed out for the evening that he had planned.

As we where leaving my house he asked if I had my keys to the church because he needed to stop by and get something that a guy had left him. He proceeded to tell me that he needed to go before dinner because he was leaving early the next morning and he didn't want us to forget about it after dinner. (I totally believed him) lol

We got to the church and I stayed in the foyer while he ran up to the stage to get what he needed! It was taking longer than I thought so I walked up the stairs to see if he needed help when I saw a huge bouquet of flowers at the front of the stage. I walked up and he got down on one knee and asked me if I would marry him. To which of course I replied yes!!! :)

(This picture was taken at my house the next day)

After wards we went to this very cute restaurant that is in an old fashioned house. They had the lights turned down low and candles lite on every table. It was super cute, quite, and romantic. We sat and talked as we ate dinner and he explained to me why he had picked the church. He said that first of all he wanted it to be a symbol of God being the foundation of our relationship and marriage and that he knew how important church has been to me my whole life. How sweet is that!!! :) We had a wonderful evening together and come to find out he was home for the whole weekend!!! :)

I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with him and to see what all God has for our future together. In just a sort 6 months from tomorrow I will be Mrs. Williamson and I couldn't be happier!! :)

Thankful Thursdays!!

2011-02-17T14:55:00.000-08:00

I haven't done this is a while and I really need to get back into it. I think when we remind ourselves of all that God is doing and what we are thankful for it helps us out of the funks that we might be in and to be honest right now I am in one of the funks!!!

I am thankful for....

Friends who love me and encourage me to be the best that I can be!!

Kale Robert Palmer
(Happy 7th Birthday Bubba) words can never fully express the place that you hold in my heart. I love you!!

Coffee with creamer
(although it is not near as good as Starbucks and I have really been wanting a starbucks coffee today)

Clothes and shoes

My amazing boyfriend who makes me laugh, loves me for me, makes me feel comfortable to be myself, encourages me to be better, laughs at my stupid jokes, and tells me how much I mean to him on a daily basis.

Having a Target where I live
(and let me just tell you, I visit at least once a week) :)

Yummy lotion to put on my hands and feet :)

Hand sanitizer

Teddy Bears and Flowers

Friends who let me do laundry at their house
(so I don't have to go to the laundry mat by myself)

Sweet little presents from the kids I minister to on a weekly basis

That I can go and volunteer in a 2nd grade classroom at one of the public schools on a weekly basis

To Do lists :)

Highlighters

Lip chap

New Underwear
(I need to start a new collection of undies because most of mine have holes in them and are falling apart. On top of I have not bought new underwear in at least 2 years lol until yesterday that is!! :)

Skype
(seriously I don't know what people did before skype and now you can even do it on your phone)

Texting

Oh how I feel so much better already!! :) Thank you Jesus for reminding me how blessed I truly am and how much you love me!! What are you thankful for???

Kid's Say the Funniest Things!!!

2011-01-13T14:57:00.001-08:00

Before I tell you think cute/funny story let me give you a little background first...

In Kidz Church over the past 13 weeks we have been learning about all the parables is the bible, and it has been a lot of fun and the kids are really enjoying it.

So last Sunday after church one of the mom's was talking to her son and asked what he learned about in class. To which he replied "if your friend asks for your jacket you should give him your shirt as well." As he was saying this the mom could tell he wasn't quite sure what that meant. Then out of the blue her 4 year old says to his brother "if you do that they would see your boobies." Oh my goodness this just killed me!! :)

Now to clear things up we did learn about The Good Samaritan but we do not teach the kids about boobies lol!!!

Kids will say the funniest things!! :) Out of the mouths of babes!!!

A Lamb's Tale Pictures

2010-12-20T18:55:00.000-08:00

Let Me Introduce You to the CastThe Program

Snowflake
(Played by Lauryn Lambertson)

Zeke
(Played by Isaiah Henderson)

Bully #1
(Played by Carter Anderson)

Bully #2
(Played by Alethia Henderson)
Bully #3
(Played by Jaron Lambertson)
Ruben (Zeke's Dad)
(Played by James Bruner)
Grandpa, Zeke, & Ruben
(Played by Isaiah Waite, Isaiah Henderson, & James Bruner)
Cool Grandpa, Zeke, & Ruben
Bullies Mom
(Played by Bella Blue)
Miss. Eunice
(Played by Marriah Jones)
Angel
(Played by Kaitlyn Leavins)
The Messenger
(Alyssa Weidman)
Addi Klaire Anderson
(Sheep #1)
The Kids Singing "You're Cool"
Mary & Joseph
(Played by Octavious Gonzalus & Sienna Connelly)

Our amazing Senior Pastor (Tyson Lambertson)

Kidz Rock 1st Annual Christmas Play

2010-12-20T14:10:00.000-08:00

The whole cast besides the preschoolers I am so proud of them!!!

A LAMB'S TALE

In my last post I told you guys about the Christmas play that has consumed a lot of my time for the last 2 months!!! Well last night was the grand finale and the kids did amazing!!! We packed out the house and they all rocked the stage!!! I was so proud of them!!!

One of the girls who had a singing part and a speaking part arrived at 4:45 pm crying so hard because she was so nervous so I told her just to pretend that I was the only one out there!!! So she did and let me tell you she did awesome.

Grandpa Shepherd had the stomach flu on Saturday but still came to dress rehearsal and as soon as they got to the church he was in the bathroom throwing up poor guy. His mom told me she was just going to take him home which I totally understood then a few minutes later she came back and said that he told her that he prayed that God would help him feel better for practice and that he wanted to stay!! So she let him, well after the first song and about 3 lines into the first scene he got pale white again and ended up going home!!! Then came Sunday night and he was there ready to do his part still not feeling 100 percent!!! As we where getting ready to walk on stage he says I don't feel so good but still he wanted to do his part and he made it through the whole play!!! A few times I looked up and he was holding his tummy but he did so good and I was so proud of him for making it through!!! :)

Grandpa, Zeke, and Reuben (the Dad)

With only a few other glitches the night went off with a bang and I was so impressed with how the kids did!!! :) During the 2nd song tears filled my eyes because I was so proud of them and how well they where doing.

Snowflake

I thought you might enjoy a few picture!!! :) I will post more once I receive more but here are a few!!! ;)

Bella and Addi sing their solo in "O Little Town of Bethlehem"
The Manger Scene (we had the preschool kids be the animals in the stable)
Josie was a Donkey
We has so many kids they all couldn't fit on the two rows so we had to have a smaller row of sheep (Nolan, Addi, Gracie, Ashton, & Benny (who wanted to be called Jerry the Sheep)
Singing their little hearts out to "Where I Belong"
Karlee & Alethia singing their solo in "Where I Belong"

The Count Down Has Begun!!

2010-12-15T17:40:00.001-08:00

This year is my first year ever directing a Kids Christmas Pageant and it is just another thing to add to my list of firsts over the past 6 months!!! I am so blessed to work with the kids I work with!! There are about 25 kids who have been to every practice for the past month and a half and they are doing amazing!!! We have practice Monday, Wednesday and Thursday nights for an hour. The kids have continued to blow me away!! These parts are not small easy lines they are paragraphs on top of paragraphs and they have them all memorized!! It just blows my mind how amazing they are doing.

The play consists of 8 scenes and 8 songs and we have two more practices left until the big night!! One tomorrow night and then a dress rehearsal on Saturday morning!! :)

The play is about a young Shepard boy named Zeke who wants to be anything but a Shepard. It is narrated by Zeke's sheep named Snowflake. Zeke has decided that he will be anything besides a Shepard until one night he realizes just how special being a Shepard is. After being made fun of by his class mates and being told he will never be anything more then a shephard Zeke is approached by and angel who tells him "Behold I bring you good tidings of great joy which shall be to all people. For until you is born this day in the city of David, a savior which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you. You shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger." Zeke then makes his way to the stable where the baby Jesus is born and he finally realizes that if he wasn't a shepard he wouldn't have seen an angel or the baby Jesus. God had something special in mind for Zeke and for all those who are in the right place at the right time.

One of the songs we sing is call "Where I Belong" and the chorus says...

When I'm where I belong God can use me, When I'm where I belong I won't fail. There's work to be done and I am the one so I'll stay right where I belong, right where I belong.

Over the past week God has been really using this song to speak to me. I have been beating myself up a lot lately saying that this play is going to turn out horrible and that I am going to look bad and the kids are going to look bad and what will people think of me then. But every time these thoughts come into my head this song comes to mind and God reminds me that I am where I belong and He won't allow me to fail.

Then the first verse says, "There's only one me unique as can be no ones else can do what I can. Whenever He calls I'll give Him my all I'm part of His wonderful play." This is what I say back to myself. It might not be easy and it might not be the best play or lesson or objective lesson but no one else can do what God has called me to do and I am part of His wonderful plan.

I praise God that even when we are in the midst of the buisness of the season that He takes the things that we are doing and teaches us something! :) How great is our God!! :)

I'm Back

2010-11-08T15:10:00.000-08:00

Okay so seriously when I moved to Scottsbluff I promised a lot of people that I would continue to blog on what is going on in my life and in the ministry but never have I been more busy then I am right now! I mean I can barely take time to pee these days much less write a blog post. But low and behold I found sometime! :) I do still have to pee but it will wait till I am done with this post! :) hehehe

There has been a lot going on since the last time I posted....

Went to Denver to have a sleep over with Jen and Kelly
Went to the Foursquare Fall District Conference
Started dating a boy (I mean guy) lol
Had a road trip to Colorado and California
My brother got married
Community Wide Harvest Festival
And now I am working on a huge Children's Ministry Christmas Play for our Church

I am pretty sure that the next time I will have a breather will be sometime in January maybe!! lol

I am truly loving what I am doing and I am blessed that I get to minister to people in Scottsbluff, NE!

I have about an hour before a group of kids show up to practice for our Christmas play which is why I have some time to blog!

I am not sure why God picked me to do this job but I truly do love it! The other day I commented on one of the parents status on facebook and told her how thankful I am that she allows me to love on her little girl each week. To which this mom replied "Alyssa truly adores you and I just wanted to tell you that this week in school she had to write about 1o things she is thankful for and one of them was you."

I never would have thought first off that I would live in Nebraska and second that I would be so impacted by the children I minister to. It is truly an honor to be able to love on these kids like Jesus loves on me.

I am excited for what the future holds and I promise I will blog more in depth all the stuff on the list at the beginning of this blog! :) Maybe tomorrow I will have a little more time to sit and write! :)

Love you all and miss you tons! :)

I'm Still Here Part 2

2010-10-02T10:29:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday we had our very first Kidz Rock Sunday and man did we have a blast!!! It was a lot of work to say the least and yes Satan tried to attack in big ways but guess what he didn't succeed! :) I planned the whole service and let me just say that I look up to senior pastors everywhere lol!

Eleven kids and I lead worship that morning and we had a blast!!! Here is Nolan singing Counting on God which is one of his favorite songs! :)They did such a great job and some of the adults even got into it with us! :)

This picture made me laugh because of my face expression lol! We where doing the hand jive from Grease to the Counting on God song! :) The kids seriously love this song! :)Here is another silly face picture seriously these make me giggle! :)This picture seriously blesses my heart!This is Benny and when I saw this picture it made my heart sing how precious!We had all the kids come down to the front to worship with us and it was so awesome to see them worship their Jesus not carrying who was watching!Another funny faced picture lolWe even had two boys and two girls do offering! :)

Cicoff (Key Off) was our special guest speaker and he did an amazing job!

He got the audience involved which was great! :)

He even juggled with swords which was amazing and scary!!!

And fire!!!

He cut this rope in half and was trying to get the kids to help him make it one again!!

The awesome thing was is with everything he did he had a biblical message to go with it that not only touched the lives of children but adults as well.

Then we had a time of prayer to ask Jesus into our hearts!

And what would a awesome Sunday be with out a pot luck!!! :)

Alyssa, Me, Bella, and Nikee!!

We also did a silent auction to raise money for Kidz Rock and God totally blessed it! :)

I like the back of our kidz rock shirts lol! :)

It was a great day and although it was a lot of work it was well worth it! :) I can't wait till our next one and the kids can't stop talking about it! :)

I'm Still Here Part 1

2010-10-01T14:42:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a while, is anyone still out there lol! ;)

It has been a long while since my last post so I thought I would sit down for a minute or so and let you all in on what has been going on in my life for the last couple of weeks! :) This is going to come in parts because if I told you everything that has been going on I think it would be a little overwhelming for the both of us lol! :)

Three weeks ago a dear friend of mine and I painted my office!

This picture was taken when I very first got here. This is what my office looked like! :) Scary huh??

Then after two days of painting, two coats of primer, and two coats of paint on each wall my office now looks like this and I am in love! :)

My desk :)

The view from my office door!The view from my desk!!!

Isn't it just beautiful!! I mean come on did you see what it look like before???? Tyson and Tami have no clue who painted it before but man it was ugly and I seriously felt like I lived in a storage room. NOW however I actually have an office to call my own that I love working in! :) Praise you Jesus!!

Plus it was so awesome because the day I finished my office and got it all decorated I had an unexpected visitation from two of my kids in the ministry who's parents where having a hard time. The girl came into my office grabbed me and just broke down sobbing. It was truly such a blessing to have a warm and welcoming office for them to come into! :)

Then after we prayed I asked the kids if they wanted to play jenga to which they replied they had never played it before!!! So of course we had to play it and as you can see in the pictures I have a long counter type thing in my office and we where able to play on it! :)

Oh and as we where playing I told them that I had this game when I was little and I use to play it all the time with my brothers. To which the little boy who is 9 replied man this must be old.... Oh my gosh I almost peed my pants when he said that I was laughing so hard! :)

It is such a blessing to have my office all done and put together! :) I love my job!! :)

I know that this is something so silly but truly having an office that you love and enjoy being in is amazing! :)

Being Vulnerable is NOT Easy Part 2

2010-09-01T19:28:00.000-07:00

So last nights post was hard and I could only get part out without totally braking down so.... here goes the rest!!!

Last night after I wrote my last post I had a great conversation with a great friend of mine. She is kind of going through similar things. As we talked I started to really begin to understand what I was feeling. I believe that for so long I have shoved down my feelings so now when I am trying to open the wounded and allow it to start healing I don't know how to allow them to come back up! She started asking me questions and one that she asked really struck me.

She asked "Jinny why do you think that God doesn't love you just the way you are?" Now this is not her exact words because I can't remember them exactly however this is basically what she asked! :) hehehe

As I sat and thought about it I begin to see that I view God as the same person my dad was. I think that God loves me and thinks of me just like my earthly daddy did. I feel like He can't love me because I don't look just the way He wants me to.

I can remember one time my dad telling me that if my mom was the size I was when they met he would have never dated her. That really has stuck with me and I feel like this is the main reason I don't think that any man would want to be with me just the way I am RIGHT NOW!

I know that my daddy loved me and that all he wanted was the best for me but when it came to my weight I felt like he was more of a judge then my dad. All I wanted was for him to tell me that I was beautiful just the way I was.

I look back at pictures and can remember the pain I was feeling at the exact moment the picture was. I remember thinking how fat I was and now when I look at them I think wow I looked good!

I know that if I am going through this I can't even imagine how many other young girls are going through this exact same thing right now! How can I reach them and tell them that they are worthy and that they are loved just the way they are.

I know that this is going to be a process not a quick fix but I am in it for the long haul! I want to see myself through God's eyes and know how He sees me not just in my mind but in my heart!

Being Vulnerable is NOT Easy

2010-08-31T20:02:00.000-07:00

Okay so this post has been sloshing around in my brain for several days and I just have not wanted to actually sit down and write it!!

This post is not going to be easy for me but it is something that I have dealt with my whole life. I am the type of person who always wants everyone to like me and to think that I am perfect!! Although I know that I am not perfect I want people to think I am so that I don't disappoint them.

Even since I can remember I have always been very self conscious about my weight. I can remember my dad sitting me down before going to California to visit my cousins who are super thin and beautiful telling me that maybe next year I can look like them and that I just have to work really hard at it.

My weight was always a topic of conversation when my dad and I where together. It got to the point where I would not eat around him because he would always either give me a look like are you seriously eating that or he would actually say something. So it got to the point where I would not eat and then I would closet eat when I got home.

My heart is so heavy right now and it seriously hurts, I can't hold the tears or feelings back anymore.

I have always told myself that my self worth is based on my weight. I have been on every diet ever created and have never been fully successful. I look at myself in the mirror and think who truly loves me just the way I am. Will any guy ever want to be with me even though I am not a size 2.

I can barely see the computer screen right not because of the tears. The pain that is inside me is so fresh and real it is hard to even put on paper. I have tried stuffing down the pain, hurt, and sadness that comes from my weight.

Every time I meet someone new I think that the first thing they see is my weight and then I feel like they judge me because of it.

I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. But when it is hard for me to even look at myself and I hate pictures, it gets to the point where I just feel like I should give up. Climb in a hole and never come out. I try not to compare myself to people but it is really hard. I want to have her hair, her arms, her stomach, etc, etc, etc.

I want to look in the mirror and be able to not hate what I see. I want to feel like I have purpose and I don't want to hide behind my weight. I want to not just KNOW that I am worthy and beautiful, but I want to FEEL it.

I know that this is one step towards being healed which is why it is so hard for me to write or even talk about it.

I know that God has a plan and purpose for my life but I want to know it in my heart not just in my head.

Make a Difference Monday (Alyssa)

2010-08-23T17:45:00.000-07:00

Monday is here again and as I was driving to work out today Klove reminded me that is was Make a Difference Monday! :) They where talking about a family named the Bains who have adopted 12 kids and now they have a TV show on A&E! They are a christian family who say that they want to help children understand that it is not their circumstances that define them but their relationship with God.

This week I want to share with you about a little girl in my ministry. Her name is Alyssa and she is 8 years old. A couple weeks ago I challenged all the kids in Kidz Church to bring a friend and if they did I would have a treat for them and their friend. Anyway to get kids to hear about Jesus love right! :) hehe

Alyssa and Abigale getting their treats! :)

The very next week Alyssa brought her friend Abigale and the following week she brought two new friends Hayley and Jasmine. After church that day Alyssa's Grandma who brings her and all her friends to church told me that Alyssa loves coming to kidz church and wants to bring more and more friends every week.Abigale, Me, and Alyssa

Although Alyssa may not realize what she is doing it amazes me that a little girl can have such a heart to bring her friends to church, and then God takes it from there and shows them His love.Me, Hayley (in the back), Alyssa (on my lap), and Jasmine

Saying good bye after kidz church! :)

I am so honored and blessed to get to minister to kids like this each week! :)

Another story I heard this week was of a three year old little girl who heard about people who had no food. So she decided to start asking friend and family to give her food so that she could help them and to this day she has helped hundreds of people.

Both of these stories just proves that we should not underestimate the power and mind of a child.

Now its your turn lets here your Make a Difference Monday story! :)

Make a Difference Monday (Ms. Fullen)

2010-08-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

I had good intentions last week to write my Make a Difference Monday's post but the day just flew by and so did the week so I am going to be on top of it this week! :)

I have several hero's in my life and one of them is my 5th grade teacher Ms. Fullen. She made a huge impact in my life when I was only 10/11. School had never been something that I enjoyed going to. Ever since I was in 2nd grade I was put into the "special ed" class in school and I hated it. I knew that something was wrong with my eyes and that I was not able to read that well but when I was put into special ed it crushed my heart. I was made fun of and teased saying that I was stupid and I never really had any friends in school. I thought that I was to stupid to have any so I just hid in my little corner and made it though school day by day.

That was until I had Ms. Fullen as my teacher. The first day I walked into her class she made me feel special. She talked to me like I was the smartest kid in her class and she really took the time to get to know me. She wouldn't send me to the "special ed" classroom unless I needed extra time to work on things. She would spend time with me individually and truly invested in me. She would stay late after school and help me with whatever I needed help on. The way she talked to me and looked into my eyes made me feel like I was worth something more then just the stupid girl.

She saw that I had potential and helped me to see it in myself. She was the whole reason that I wanted to become a teacher. I wanted to impact the lives of kids the way that she impacted my life. When I was in high school I was able to contact her and let her know what an impact she made in my life.

She made a difference in my life which has encouraged me to make a difference in the lives of children that I come into contact with.

Ms. Fullen wherever you are thank you for being a shining example to me of what it means to love unconditionally. Thank you for showing me that I have potential and that I can do whatever I put my mind to! :)

What is your Make a Difference Monday Story? I would love to hear it! :)

Make a Difference Monday

2010-08-02T07:52:00.000-07:00

This morning as I was driving into work I was listening to Klove and they where talking about making Monday's "Make a Difference Monday" and I thought wow how awesome would that be to have a blog post every Monday talking about....

1. How different people have made a difference in my life
2. How I have made a difference in lives
3. Different ways I would like to see myself make a difference

So here is the first ever "Make a Difference Monday"

I thought I would share with you two stories that have happened the past two Sunday's!

The first one happened last Sunday when a mom came to me and told me that after children's church that day her son Jadon (who is 6 years old) told her "mom I feel so close to Jesus right now." When she asked him why he felt that way his response was "Because I got to sing to Him and learn about Him in kids church." This mom was telling me this that evening and it seriously gave me chills down my spine. As I sat there and thanked God for that little encouragement He whispered so softly, "This is why I have brought you here, so that these kids will feel Me and know Me in a whole new way."

(Jadon is on the far right side in the front row)

For the last several weeks I have been feeling like I have no clue what I am doing. These kids are between such a wide age span that I am sure they are not getting anything out of this. So when this sweet mom came to me to tell me this story she had no clue what I needed to hear and she spoke exactly what I needed to hear. How great is our God.

The second story happened just yesterday however let me back up just a little bit to explain the whole story! :) Three weeks ago one of the grandma's in our church came to me after church and introduced me to her granddaughter Alyssa. It was her first week at church and she didn't want to come to kids church so grandma decided to keep her in church and introduce her to me after. When she came down I got down on her level and introduced myself and asked her a few questions about herself and that was it. The following week she came to church and guess what came down to kids church.

Well yesterday she was not at church and I really didn't think anything about it till I went to lunch at subway. As I was getting ready to order I felt this little person come up behind me and give me a giant hug. When I turned around guess who is was.... Alyssa. I stopped and talked to her for a few minutes and told her how I missed her in kids church and hope she comes back next week. She then told me that today "Monday" is her birthday so I am getting ready to send her a birthday card and tell her how happy I was to see her yesterday at subway.

Who would have taught that after only meeting this sweet little girl a few weeks ago that she would already be attached. It just amazes me how much God loves me enough to know my deepest desires and then He answers them. How great is our God!!!

(This is Alyssa and I last week)

So now it is your turn! :) What are some ways that you have made a difference?? I would love to hear your stories! :)

He has a plan and purpose for ME!

2010-07-29T10:36:00.000-07:00

This post has been stiring in my heart for a while now. I have been thinking and reflecting on where I am and what God is doing in my life right now. Moving is not something I enjoy and meeting new people is very scary for me however I know and believe that God has so much in store for not only me but also for this ministry.

My first Sunday as the Children's Pastor at The Rock Church was Father's Day. As that day approached my heart was beating so fast and questions kept running through my head....

Can I do this??

Am I equipped to run a ministry??

Will the kids like me??

Will the parents trust me with their kids and their spiritual growth??
Will the volunteers that already serve be open to me??
Will other people want to server along side me??
Will I be able to speak into the lives of all these kids??
Would my daddy be proud of me??
Did I make the right decision??

As I was sitting in one of the Sunday School classrooms Tami (the pastor's wife) walked in and asked me to come out of the classroom. As we walked out and into my office tears started rolling down my face. Tami prayed over me and as she was praying God softly spoke into my ear. "Jinny you being here on Father's Day was not on accident. I wanted to show you that what your daddy spoke over you so many years ago is coming true today." Then he spoke the sweetest words I could hear that day "Your daddy is proud of you Jinny and he loves you so much. We are rejoicing together and waiting to see what all you are going to do in the lives of the children at The Rock Church."

Those words touch my heart so deep that it is hard to even put the emotions that I felt into words. I truly wanted my dad to be here on my first Sunday and how cool is it that it wasn't only on Father's Day Sunday but that God spoke those sweet words into my ear that day.

I know that being a children's pastor is not always going to be fun or easy but I am in this for the race not the sprint. And I am so excited and honored to see what all God has in store for the future.

Sometimes.....

2010-07-27T09:10:00.000-07:00

But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me so that the message might be preached fully through me and that all the Gentiles might hear. Also I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion. And the Lord will deliver me from every evil work and preserve me for His kingdom. To Him be the glory forever and ever. Amen! 2 Timothy 4:17-18

Over the last few weeks I have been feeling homesick. I know that I am called here to Scottsbluff, NE and I am falling in love with all the kids in this ministry. My heart is to see them know the love of Jesus and for them to want to tell all their friends about Him.

It has been over a month since I have been here and the honeymoon stage is over. It no longer feels like a vacation and it is beginning to settle in that I am here for good. I know that I know that I know that God has big things in store not only for the future of this ministry but also for my future. However there are times where I feel so lonely and like I am not equipped or prepared to be a Children's Pastor. I love kids and I love teaching them about Jesus but there are some days where I don't feel like I am worthy of even standing in front of them.

2 Timothy 4:17-18 is a verse that I am standing on in this chapter of my journey. I know that I am where I am suppose to be and I love it here however it is hard to think about what is going on back in Durango. I miss all my kids and my friends, sometimes here I don't feel like I am not good enough to make any new friends, like I am not someone people would like to be around. I know that this is not true but it is still hard to deal with. I know that all of this is a lie from satan but I needed to get my feelings out and allow myself to feel the way I am feeling so that I don't continue to shove it down and then one day it will exploded.

I continue to stand on the fact that God is with me and will never leave me. Thank you for letting me in a since throw up on you and tell you what has been going through my mind lately.

God Know's My Heart

2010-07-14T16:08:00.001-07:00

Ever since I was a little girl I have always had a heart for handicapped children, and I have prayed that I would have the honor to minister to children with handicaps weather it be mental, physical, or even children who can't hear. (sign language has always been on my heart and something that I think is so beautiful) Okay that was totally a side note so on with my post.... :)

When I got to Scottsbluff I was welcomed with open arms by the whole church body and it was truly amazing to see how excited they all where that I was here.

Over the last couple weeks I have been working on memorizing all the kids names and making sure that I meet all of them. As I was meeting all the kids I got so giddy because two of the kids in the ministry have handy caps. So as I have been praying over the ministry and all the children I am ministering to, God has been impressing on my heart that He is the one who has put the desire in my heart to minister to handy capped children and that He has a big plan and purpose for putting the desire in my heart.

So let me introduce you to the first two precious ones.....

Benny is a 5 year old little boy who was hit by a car a little over a year ago and was seriously hurt. He is now mentally handicapped and has trouble walking. Let me just tell you that the first week this little boy had my heart. He is so smart and is such a fun loving little boy. I am so excited to watch and see what God has in store for this little warriors life.

Zaydee is a 3 year old little girl who has down syndrome. She is so precious and just lights up every room she walks into. She has the cutest smile and is always happy to be at church. I know that God has big things in store for her sweet life and she is going to do amazing things for Him.

Tears are filling my eyes as I think about these sweet little ones. My hearts cry is to see them know the love of our Savior in a very real way. I am so honored that God has called me to show them His love.

Thank you Jesus for this amazing opportunity.

Life in Nebraska!!!

2010-07-14T15:16:00.001-07:00

So it has been a while since I have written anything so I thought that I would write a post before I go and get my chubbies kicked in work out class! :)

On Friday it will be a month since I have moved! Man how time has just flown by! I am a little home sick and miss all my family of choice back in Durango however this is starting to fill like home which is a good thing.

Since I have moved here I have......

1. Started to reorganize children's ministry

2. Started teaching children's church

3. Gone to Jam Camp (which is a whole other post .... coming soon!)

4. Made new friendships

5. Finally figured out how to get around town :)

6. Met and starting relationships with the people who already serve in Children's Ministry

7. Started building relationships and recruting new people for the ministry.

8. Got an intern that is AMAZING!

9. Spoke in front of the church twice.

And I am sure there is much more to come! :)

It has been a lot of fun getting to know people and meeting the kids. I am truly enjoying teaching the kids in children's church and watching them get it. We have been working on Romans 10:9 for the last few weeks and on Sunday all the kids could say the whole thing by them selves. It is so awesome to see kids hide God's word in their hearts.

I am really enjoying being here and I can't wait to see what all God has for me and this ministry!

If you would like to pray with me.... There is a house available that is really cute and perfect for me. It has two bedrooms, one bath, a full kitchen and living room. I would be able to move in August 1st and the price is really good. Please pray that God would continue to open the door on this house and that everything will go smoothly. The Land Lords are even Christians which is something I have been praying for.

Here I am Lord use me!!!

For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
Romans 10:9

Jam Camp 2010

2010-07-14T15:11:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago I had the privilege of going to jam camp with 5 of the kids in my ministry! I have never been to jam camp before and always wanted to go! :)

Cynthia the camp director did an AMAZING job and it was an adventure to say the least! :)

I had 7 girls in my group, from 4 different churches, of which two of the girls where with me. On Monday when as the girls arrived we played games and painted nails in our cabin until all of our girls arrived. Once they arrived we designed our flag and headed out to explore the campus. It was all the girls but ones first time at camp. We had a great time getting know each other and a great first night at camp. After circle the wagons (story time) I tucked all the girls into bed and prayed over them, got myself ready for bed and was heading to hit the cootie cage (bed) but none of the 36 girls in the cabin where ready to sleep so we spent about 2 hours trying to get them all to go to sleep. Once I finally hit the cootie cage it wasn't long when all of the sudden one of my girls sat up in her bed and threw up all over the floor. From there we where up till 2 in the morning as she threw up 8 times. My mommy skills kicked in as I held back this little girls hair so she could throw up in the toilet as I tried not to throw up myself! :) We made it through the night and with lots of coffee the next morning we headed out to conquer Tuesday.

We had a great day and great nights sleep, thankfully no throwing up that night well so I thought. After being in my cootie cage for about 30 minutes and almost asleep one of the other GL's came over and said that one of her little girls had just thrown up in the bathroom. This sweet GL does worse with throw up then I do so I went in and once again held back another little girls hair while she threw up. I think God was giving me a little taste of what it feels like to be a mom 24/7 :) hehehe! However I can still say through it all that I still can't wait to be a mom no sleep and all! :)

The week went well and I truly enjoyed getting to know all of my girls. We had devotions every morning which where amazing and it was so awesome to hear what was on all the girls hearts.

On Wednesday night the speaker had all the kids write on a piece of paper something hard they have done through in their lives. They she took the pieces of paper and made a beautiful picture with them. She explained to the kids that even through we go through hard things in life God see's the big picture and that everything works together for His beautiful plan and purpose. After she was done talking she asked the kids to come up and be prayed over by an adult. One little girl was sobbing as I prayed with her because her grandpa had just died and she was really close to him. As I prayed over this sweet little girl I began to cry with her, my heart broke for her and we sat as I held her in my arms for a long time.

The next day during our GL meeting we prayed over that picture and I was shocked at some of the things that where written on the pieces of paper. One of them said that his/her dad was going to jail for killing someone. Another one said that his/her mom and dad fight and hit each other. Many talked about a family member or friend who had died.

It broke my heart as I read these and I cried out to God asking Him to mend their hearts and to bring someone into their lives to minister to them when they went home.

Thursday night the kids where asked if they wanted to receive their prayer language and those who did came forward and got prayed over. I prayed with one little girl who told me that her mom prayed in her prayer language all around the house and she wanted to be able to talk to Jesus like that. As I looked into her eyes and talked to her I knew that I knew her mom. She was a little girl from Bayfield church and sure enough I knew her mom. When I said are you April's daughter her eyes got super big and she said yes how do you know her. It was so awesome that God pick this little girl for me to pray with. :)

The week just flew by and although I had a very homesick little girl in my group I had a great time. God truly did amazing things not only in the lives of the kids but also in the lives of each staff member at camp. Lives where changed and in-packed big time.

This is something that I will do every year with the kids at The Rock church.

The Calling

2010-06-30T09:03:00.000-07:00

I am a minister. I minister to the largest mission field in the world. I minister to Children.

My calling is sure; my challenge is big; my vision is clear; my desire is strong; my influence is eternal; my impact is critical; my values are solid; my faith is tough; my mission is urgent; my purpose is unmistakable; my direction is forward; my heart is genuine; my strength is supernatural; my reward is promised; and my God is real.

In a world of cynicism, I offer hope. In a world of confusion, I offer truth. In a world of immorality, I offer values. In a world of neglect, I offer attention. In a world of abuse, I offer safety. In a world of ridicule, I offer affirmation. In a world of division, I offer reconciliation. In a world of bitterness, I offer forgiveness. In a world of sin, I offer salvation. In a world of hate, I offer God's love.

I refuse to be dismayed, disengaged, disgruntled, discouraged or distracted. Neither will I look back, stand back, fall back, go back or sit back. I do not need applause, flattery, adulation, prestige, stature, or veneration. I do not have time for business as usual, mediocre standards, small thinking, outdated methods, normal expectations, average results, ordinary ideas, petty disputes or low vision. I will not give up, give in, bail out, lie down, turn over, quit, or surrender.

I will pray when things look bad. I will pray when things look good. I will move forward when others stand still. I will trust God when obstacles arise. I will work when the task is overwhelming. I will get up when I fall down.

My calling is to reach boys and girls for God. It is too serious to be taken lightly, too urgent to be postponed, too vital to be ignored, too relevant to be overlooked, too significant to be trivialized, too eternal to be fleeting and too passionate to be quenched.

I know my mission. I know my challenge. I also know my limitations, my weaknesses, my fears and my problems. And I know my God. Let others get the praise. Let the church get the blessing. Let God get the glory.

I am a minister. I minister to children. This is who I am. This is what I do.
By: Roger Fields

The first time I read this I broke down in tears this is my hearts desire and the calling that God has placed on my life. Thank you God for calling me to love and teach your precious children. This is going to be placed in my office so that every time I look at it and read it I will be reminded on the calling God has placed on my life.

The Last 7 Days.....

2010-06-21T12:43:00.000-07:00

Over the last 7 days I have........

1. Said see you later to some of the most wonderful people in the whole word, people who are not only my friends but also my family.

2. Shed many tears while saying see you later

3. Packed and filled a 5 x 8 Uhaul all with my own stuff

4. Drove from Colorado to Nebraska with all my stuff

5. Unloaded my uhaul into the garage at my new church

6. Moved in with the Administrative Assistant and her husband while I am looking for a place of my own

7. Attended my first Sunday being the Children's Pastor

8. Cleaned out my office that has been used as a storage room for the last 3 years

9. Settled into my office

10. Finally started feeling like I have actually moved and now I am a Nebraska girl

11. Filled one of my dreams and have become a CHILDREN'S PASTOR

12. Met some amazing people at The Rock church

YEARN Shane & Shane

2010-06-03T22:44:00.000-07:00

Yearn

2010-06-03T15:12:00.000-07:00

This song is my hearts cry at this moment in my life!

Holy design
this place in time
that i might seek and find my God
my God

Lord i want to yearn for You
i want to burn with passion
over You and only You
Lord i want to yearn

Your joy is mine
yet why am i fine
with all my singing and bringing grain
in light of Him

oh You give life and breath
through Him You give all things
in Him we live and move
that's why i sing

Two Weeks!

2010-06-01T17:43:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow starts the two week count down and the emotions are all hitting me. One moment I am so excited and the next minute I am in tears. Not because I don't think that I am taking the right step but just because I am leaving my home. The place I have lived for over half of my life and the people who are my family. See I told you, as I write this tears stream down my face. The realization that I am leaving is starting to hit. Don't get me wrong I am so excited for this next chapter in my life but I wish I could take everyone with me.

I look at the kids I have know since they where born/ little and my heart hurts will they even remember me when I leave. The love that I have for them is nothing I have ever felt before. I look at Kate Elizabeth and see this beautiful little girl who I love so very much, and I ask myself will she remember me. I look at Tobias James and think who is going to ask me to wrestle every time I see him. I was telling my friend the other day that the love I have for these kids in so strong and so passionate that I can't imagine how I will be able to love my own kids more.Then I look at my friends some I have known since I was young and others I have only known for a few years however I think how will our relationships change? What am I leaving behind? I know that my relationships will change however my prayer is that they don't go away. My family here in Durango is thicker then blood. They are the people who I go to when I have a problem, they are the people I rejoice with and they are the people I cry with. THEY ARE MY FAMILY.As the packing begins and June 16th quickly approaches I can't help but think about all that is here. I am so excited to meet the kids and families that I will be ministering to however right now I am mourning leaving Durango and this life that I have had here. I know that God has big plans for my future and I am excited to take the next step towards finding out what all he has in store! :) Please pray for this transition period that God will give me peace through out the whole thing.

God's Plan Revealed

2010-05-24T19:22:00.000-07:00

(Okay so I have been told by many people that now I am going to have to start blogging more so here we go my first blog for the next chapter in my life. I promise I will get better and post more often. :D)I am so excited about the next adventure that God is taking me on. Ever since I was a little girl my dad would always tell me that I was going to be a Children’s Pastor. He saw the passion in my eyes whenever I was around children and believed that I had a calling on my life to tell them about the love of Jesus. At the time I didn’t agree; I wanted to be a teacher because I love stickers and grading papers, but God changed my heart. From that moment on I wanted each and every child I came in contact with to know the love of Jesus. I have been praying that God would open the right door for me to walk through, and now, in His timing, His plan is being revealed for my life. I am ready to trust Him and follow His lead.MY HEART'S DESIRE
I am so blessed to have been raised in a Christian home with loving parents; however, there are many children in our country who are longing to hear the words,” I love you.” Some kids have never heard the words, “you are beautiful handsome,” “you are a treasure,” or “you are not a mistake.” Just typing this brings tears to my eyes to think that there are children out there who don’t even know that they are loved or wanted. My heart’s desire is that every child I meet, will know that they are valued and loved, even if their home life is not stable and they have no hope. I want to be a living example of God’s love and faithfulness by showing them their value. By being an example, my heart’s desire is that each child will begin to build a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. This is why I am so excited about what God has in store for not only my life, but also the lives of all the kids in Scottsbluff, Nebraska. I know that ministry is not something to take lightly, and, to be totally honest with you, I am so honored that God has put such a burning passion in my heart for children. Here I am, Lord, use me!DOOR OPENING
I recently was offered a Children’s Pastor position in Scottsbluff, Nebraska. After prayer and seeking wise counsel, I decided to take a road trip to check out the church and spend time with the Pastor and his family. The minute I drove into the little town I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. As the weekend unfolded, I started to fall in love with the family, the town, and the church. The whole weekend I kept hearing the word, “potential.” I continued to pray that God would give me wisdom, discernment, as well as clear direction. It was an amazing time and I continued to have peace through out the whole visit, I was saddened when it was time to leave.CLEAR DIRECTION
As I headed home, I continued to pray that God would give me clear direction. I was excited about the opportunity and I really wanted to take it, but I wanted it to be God’s direction not my own. When I think about leaving Durango, my friends, and my church family, it is really hard. However, I was excited about the future so I continued to pray for clear directionWOULD YOU JOIN ME?
Through a series of God - breathed moments I have been connected with Tyson the pastor of The Rock Church, a recently planted new church that started with 6 people, and is now up to 250 adults and 80 kids over the past three years. Tyson and Tami have a burning passion to see kids in this area know the love of Jesus. Right now there is no Children’s Pastor, so I will be taking a step of faith in moving and creating a ministry where each kid is loved, accepted, and valued. Then, through these, they will begin to grow in an intimate relationship with Jesus.
Every time I pray, I hear these four words.... ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! I know that God is going to provide, so I am trusting Him and believing that He is going to answer this prayer, just like He has answered all the others. Tyson and the church council are working very hard to get me onto full - time staff, so, in this transition period I will be living off of financial support. This is where you can join me; in taking this step of faith, I am praying that God will provide $2,000 a month to take care of my monthly expenses. Would you prayerfully consider supporting me in fulfilling the plan that God has for this chapter of my life? Thank you for all your love and support.

Alive in Christ, Beautiful in Him, Controlled by the Spirit

Love, Miss. Jinny MacDonald

Memories that will be Treasured for a Lifetime!

2010-04-06T14:10:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday was the 6 year mark of my dad leaving this earth and going to heaven. If you would have asked me at age 18 what my life would look like at age 24 I would have told you that I will be married, have 1 or 2 kids, and living the life that I dream about. However this was not God's plan it was my plan and although sometimes I wish my plan would have come true I am truly thankful that in God's timing it will. :)

I also would have never thought that my dad would not be here with us. To be totally honest some days are easier then others, however every day I think about him and the memories that we shared. There are so many memories that I am blessed to have had over the span of the 18 years that I had with my dad here on this earth so, I thought I would share a few with you. Some are funny and my dad would kill me if he knew I was tell you them and others are just special moments that we shared together. :)

My encouragement to all of us is to live in the moment. Make memories with your kids, spouses, friends, and family that will be treasured for a life time and most of all honor Jesus while you are doing them.

Memory #1: (special moment)
Through out my growing up years I can remember many times my dad getting out his guitar and us all singing praises to our King. I am so blessed that I was raised by two parents who love(d) Jesus and raised me in a Christian home.

Memory #2: (funny)
One morning I can remember walking into my parents bathroom and my dad had mascara in his hand. As I stood there I watched as he began putting it on his side burns because they where gray. When he finally realized that I was standing there giggle really hard he made me promise that is was our secret! :) (sorry dad)

Memory #3:
His favorite candy bar was butterfingers.

Memory #4: (special moment)
When I was little my dad and I would always have our special daddy daughter dates. I would get all dressed up and it would be just the two of us going out on the town. During these dates my dad and I would talk and laugh and have a great time. At times he would teach me how a guy should treat me like by having me walk on the inside of the sidewalk so that if a car came he could protect me. No matter what we where doing on our date we would always have a great time together. These special dates will be a memory that I will treasure forever.

Memory #5: (funny)
On our special dates I would love holding onto his forearm because he had some nice muscals and I would love to squeeze them however he hated it. So every time I would start tightening my grip around his muscals he would get his deep serious voice out and say don't you dare. I would always giggle with delight as he was shaking his head and telling me no. :)

Memory #6: (special memory)
When I turned 16 my dad gave me a promise ring and asked me to be his until the day God brought me the man of my dreams. I had always wanted a promise ring and still to this day I wear it on my wedding finger. It means so much that he picked it out just for me.

Memory #7: (special memory)
As soon as I got my license and started driving my favorite thing to do was to go to the church and have lunch with my dad in his office. It was just a special time that I got to have with just me and my dad as I got older. We would talk and laugh and I would tell him how my day at school was going. One of the best times we shared was when I would be having a bad day and he would pray with me before I went back to school.

I could go on and on with all the memories that we shared but I will stop at number 7! :) Always remember that life here on this earth is short so, live out the plan and desires that God has placed in your heart today don't continue to tell yourself I will get to that tomorrow, next week, or a year from now because you never know when your time will come. Cherish the memories that you have and make new ones with the ones you love. AND ALWAYS TELL THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE, I LOVE YOU!

I love you daddy and miss you bunches and bunches! :)

I'm Still Here! :)

2010-03-30T16:38:00.000-07:00

Life has been a bit crazy lately. Some times good crazy and some times not so good crazy but I am learning to live up and not act out!

It is only Tuesday and it has been an emotional week. Noah has been very whinny and it is really getting at me. I love him so much but it has just been draining to deal with his whining lately! I am also praying about what I am called to do next and really seeking God's direction for the decisions I am going to have to be making in the next couple of weeks. So it has been emotional to say the least.

Last night I had a dream about my wedding, now mind you I have had many dreams about my wedding and stuff and I am always so upset when I wake up because the dreams feel so real and I hate waking up!

So back to last night it was my wedding day and I was so excited it was a quick engagement which lead to a quick wedding. In my dream my mom was running late and I was freaking out because I wanted her to be there. It was time for me to walk down the isle and I was getting really nervous and all of the sudden my dad appeared and started walking me down the isle. It was strange because no one else could see him but I could see and feel him right next to me holding my arm and leading the way. As we got to the front my future husband (whom I could not see but I could tell that he was a child hood friend) reached out his arm and gave me a huge smile. When I finally got up the steps to stand in front of the pastor I turned around to see if my dad was sitting next to my mom and he wasn't, he was actually standing in the back. When I met his eyes he gave me this smile and look as if he where telling me "Jinny I am so proud of the women you have become." Then my alarm went off and it was time for me to get up. I was so upset because it was seriously so real.

As I started getting ready for the day tears started falling down my checks. Some days are easier then others and today was just not one of those days. And even as I type these words tears are running down my face. I miss my dad's voice, his hugs, and his words of encouragement. The dream seemed so real to me and my dads face express has stuck with me all day. He eyes where loving and proud and oh how I miss that.

As I sit here and type this up it is just so crazy to me that in seven days it will be the 6 year mark of him leaving earth and going to heaven. Some days it feels so real and others feel like he is not even gone. It is so hard to describe the feelings that have been going on over these last 6 years. To be honest I have wondered many times if my dad would be proud of the women I have become. So in a way I truly feel that this dream was from God. It was his way of allowing me to know that my daddy is proud of the women I am today. His eyes, smile and face expression in my dream last night will stick with me forever and will remind me that my God truly does hear the cries and desires of my heart.

I love you Nooker!

2010-01-05T20:46:00.003-08:00

My heart is heavy as I write this post! Tonight at 6 pm California time my precious cousin Brooke (Nooker) went to be in the arms of our heavenly Father! She is dancing with the angels and my daddy!
Brooke is a hero in my book! Ever since she was diagnosed with Primary Pulmonary Hipertention she has had the best attitude! She has loved the Lord with all her heart and trusted Him every step of the way! Any time you would talk to her about her sickness and if she was scared or worried she would always tell you no because I trust in Jesus and know that He has His best in mind for me!
She was a fighter and a warrior for Christ! She loved Jesus with her whole heart and was always so excited and ready to be in the arms of our heavenly Father! Before my dad passed away I can remember her telling him that she was ready to be with Jesus!
I loved sitting with her and just talking about life, anytime I was having a really hard time and I need someone to lift me up in the word I would call Nooker and she would always have a word for me! Her and I had some great laughs and great times together! She always had a smile on her face and arms ready to give you the best hug!

I am so thankful that I was able to go and spend Christmas with her this year and that will be a memory that I will never forget!

She will ALWAYS be a hero in my book and she will NEVER be forgotten!

Nooker,
Thank you for challenging me to be a better women of God! For loving me and encouraging me to be the best that I can be! Thank you for your wonderful hugs and words of encouragement!
Thank you for the passion that burned so bright in your eyes, heart, and the words that you spoke about our Lord and Savior! You are an amazing women and will be missed! I look forward to dancing with you in heaven! Please give my daddy a big hug and kiss for me and tell him how much I love and miss him! You will always be in my heart! I miss you already!

Much Love,
Jin

What If???

2009-11-09T21:31:00.001-08:00

Yesterday we had a young lady named Jessica come to church and speak about her life as a missionary to Uganda Africa! During her talk I was crying though out the whole thing however one thing really stood out to me! She told a story about how she would always say I love you to the kids in the family home that she works with! These kids have never heard that words I love you! They have never said the words I love you! So it really made me start to think about what would my life be like if I never heard the words I love you!

Never hearing my daddy's sweet voice saying I love you! Never hearing Kate Elizabeth say I love you Miss. Jinny over and over again in a 4 hour period! :) Never hearing my friends say I love you! Never hearing the people I care about the most say I love you! Man how would my attitude be different if I never heard those 3 words!

Here in America we sometimes view those words as cliche words! Oh don't say I love you because you never know what that person might think when you say it! Then there are times where here in American we take those words for granted! But think about thousands of kids who have NEVER hear those 3 words! How would you life be so very different?

Have you ever thought about what your life would be like if you never heard the words "I LOVE YOU"

Update on Brooke!

2009-10-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

Okay so here is what is going on with my cousin Brooke! Last week they did several tests on both her lungs and her heart. Then they had to wait till Tuesday to hear the results of the tests! She was moved to high priority on the transplant list and is waiting for new lungs. The good news is that the test that they did on her heart came back good so at this point they are not going to need to do a heart transplant. They are hoping that once she gets her new lungs that her heart will be just fine.

They released her from the hospital on Tuesday however her and her husband are staying in a hotel for a few days just to make sure that Brooke is okay to go home! The transplant surgery can be any minute, hour, or day! So please pray with me that they will find a donor sooner the later! They have to match the blood type as well as the lung size! Once the surgery is done they will have to stay in San Diego for 3 months so that she can have regular check ups and so that the doctors can keep a close eye on her. They live in Apple Valley which is about an hour and a half to two hours from San Diego!

Brooke and JJ are both doing as well as can be expected. They both have high hopes and know that God is in control! Please pray for patients, trust, faith, and understanding. As well as for their marriage that Satan will have no foot hold during this difficult time! They are both such strong people who love God so much!

Thank you all so much for you prays it means so much!

Thankful Thursdays!

2009-10-29T17:19:00.000-07:00

This week I am Thankful for a few random things! :)

Last week I told you about our car ride home from California however while we where there I got to see my older brother Matt for about 20 minutes although short it was well worth it! We had not seen each other for over a year which is way to long! So I am so thankful that I got to see him and give him some great big hugs! I am not kidding you I felt like a little kid waiting for Santa clause to come and visit! When he got to the mall I wanted to run and no joke it was running through my mind when I saw him across the store. I didn't actually get into a full on run but you can bet I did jog a little! :) I need his hug for a long time and I finally got it! :)
I am thankful for my warm little cozy home that is all mine! I come home to this little place that is quite small but it is my home and I love it! :)
I am thankful for silly youth girls that I get to spend a lot of my time with! :) They light up my life and make me feel young again! :) Ashley Coleman told me while we where riding the horses that I needed to not text cause I could get a ticket it really made me giggle really hard! :)
I am thankful for the snow although I am so not ready for it! It was so cute yesterday morning when Noah woke up and saw the snow for the first time he said "bubbles" it made me laugh! :) And all day today when he would look outside he would say "bubbles" although he did not want to touch it at all! :)
I am thankful for great friends like my pea in my pod! Brenda you are such an amazing women and I am so thankful for you! There is so much that we have both gone through and I thank God that He has brought us together! :) Happy Birthday Tomorrow! :)
I am thankful for a heater that works in my car! :) Cause it was really cold this morning at 6:20 am and it is really cold right now outside!

I am thankful for yummy coffee and fun, cute mugs to drink it in! :)

What are you thankful for this Thursday????

Thankful Thursdays

2009-10-22T16:36:00.000-07:00

So on the way home from Revolve we where all tired and one of the girls in my car was complaining about how messy the car was so we decided to play the Thankful game which was so much fun! After a few minutes we decided to call the other car which had 7 people in it and have a race to see which car could come up with the most things that they where thankful for in an hours time period! We had a blast in our car we came up with the most random things but we still laughed and laughed and laughed! It truly did change the whole attitude of the car! So here are a few of the 855 things my car came up with while we played that Thankful game.....

1. Bra's

2. Sunsets

3. Wheels

4. Ice Cream

5. Coffee

6. Chocolate

7. Road Trips

8. Family

9. Friends

10. Hero's

11. Stars

12. Animals

13. Flowers

14. Paper

15. Pens

16. Gas

17. Pillows

18. Blankets

19. Sun Rise

20. Rain

21. Thunderstorms

22. Hot Tubs

23. Seasons (Fall, Winter, Summer, and Spring)

24. Eyes to see

25. Ears to hear

26. Mouth to talk

27. Fingers to touch

28. Nose to smell

29. Hugs

30. Heat

Okay I could go on and on and on but I sure can't remember all 855 things we came up with however we did win! :) Always remember to be thankful for the little things as well as the big things! How great is our God!

So what are you Thankful for this Thursday??

Update on Brooke Please Pray Now!

2009-10-20T19:39:00.000-07:00

This weekend Brooke was released from the hospital and sent home because they wanted to make sure that she did not contract any other diseases that might be in the hospital! Well last night she went back to the hospital with some chest pain and a rapid heart beat! The doctors got her stabilized however have decided that she has to at least have a lung transplant if not both a heart and lung transplant! This is very serious and very scary! Please pray with me for complete healing and for a transplant! She has very high hopes and spirits and she lights up any room she is in! Please pray with me for this amazing women of God!
Also please consider fasting with me this Thursday for her and her healing weather it be a complete miracle or through a transplant!
If you wouldn't mind leaving a encouraging comment below for her and her family and also put where you are from! I will make sure that they get it! How awesome would it be for her to see that people around the world are praying on her behalf! If you don't have a blog spot account you can post as anonymous and just leave your name and place where you live! Thank you all so much for your love and support! :)Also if you happen to have a blog spot and would like to let all your blog followers know about Brooke and ask them to pray for her that would be amazing! :)

Thankful Thursdays!

2009-10-16T06:44:00.000-07:00

Okay I know that it is Friday but we drove 14 hours to California yesterday with 8 youth girls and 4 leaders by the time I got everyone situated in a bed arrangement and got myself in the shower it was already 1:00 am! So here it is a day late but worth the wait! :)

Today I am Thankful For.....

Amazing youth girls who love Jesus

Amazing women who love to love on youth girls and train them to be amazing Women for God

A safe trip here

Fun road trips in a little car with Linn, Emmie, Ashley C, April and Myself

Precious memories that will be made and never forgotten

Internet in the hotel and dark hallways to blog in while everyone is sleeping ;)

Air mattresses for everyone to sleep comfortably

Two bathrooms instead of one for 12 people to use

The beach and shopping

In and Out Burger and french fries up the nose

Sweet laughs and giggles

All 11 girls and ladies who where able to come on this trip

That Linn is sitting next to me writing a blog post as well :) It is so nice to have someone addicted just like me! :)

What are you Thankful for?????

UGENT PRAYER REQUEST! PLEASE READ NOW!

2009-10-13T21:08:00.000-07:00

As I am writing this my eyes are shedding so many tears I can barely see my computer screen! I would like you to meet my cousin Brooke! She is a 26 year old young woman who loves the Lord with all her heart and soul! Today is her 2 year wedding anniversary to a wonderful man of God named JJ.
Six years ago she was diagnosed with a heart/lung disease called Primary Pulmonary Hypertension (PPH). She has had a pick line that goes directly to her heart ever since then that helps keep her stable in a sense! There is no cure for this disease and it effects mostly women between the ages of 20 and 40 years of age. It can however effect anyone! In the 1990's the life expectancies was 3 years now they have better medicine but since there is no cure it makes it difficult to say how long someone will live with this disease!

Well tonight I found out that Brooke is in the hospital and has been there for 7 days now! The doctors are upping her medicine intake but they don't have much room to work with. So they have brought in transplant papers for her to sign and start working on! If it come to this point she will need a lung transplant and possibly a heart transplant. As I was talking to my Aunt tonight I asked her on a scale of 1 - 10 how bad is it and she said it was between and 8 and a 9!
My heart hurts so bad right now! Brooke is such a precious person in my life and someone I love and care about deeply! Please pray with me for God's healing and will to be done! Brooke once told my dad that when God calls her home she is going to be ready! She has such a heart of gold and loves the Lord with all her heart!

Please pray for her family and husband during this time! Also please pray for wisdom and discernment for the doctors and nurses!
I trust and believe that God is in control of this whole situation and that no matter what He is a might God who loves Brooke more then I do! Which is hard to even comprehend!

Happy Birthday Mom!

2009-10-07T20:42:00.001-07:00

Today is my mom's birthday and how blessed I am that she was born on this day 30 years ago right mom? :) Yeah that would mean she had me when she was 7 and Matt when she was not even created yet! lol Oh well you are still young at heart! :) So today I would like to post a prayer over my mom for this coming year! She has not had the easiest life that if for sure however God has big plans for her life that are still to come and I truly believe that with all my heart!

Dear Heavenly Father,
I come before you today thanking you for creating my mom many years ago! I thank you for giving her to me as my mom! I pray that this year will be a year of change! I thank you that you have so many plans for her future and that you have a huge purpose for her still on this earth! I pray that you will show and teach her how to love and trust you again! I pray that you will give her confidence to be the woman you have called her to be! I thank you that you have forgiven her all of her past mistakes and that in your eyes she is totally forgive! I thank you that from this day forward she is going to see herself as a new women in you! That is strong in the Lord and that can do all things through you! I thank you that you are going to take her on a journey of healing and rest! And that she is never going to be the same! I thank you for the women that she is today and the women she is going to be in 50 years! I pray that you will comfort her with your love and peace and that she will know that it is okay to run into your arms again! I thank you for the changes you have made in her life over the last 2 months and for the ones to come in her future! She is such an amazing women, mom, and friend and those who know her are do blessed to have her in our lives! In Jesus name I pray! AMEN

Here is the song that I sing over you today mom! May it feel you with peace and encouragement to leave the past behind and know that WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!

Healer

by: Hillsong

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

"I will never forget this day for as long as I Live!" Kale Palmer

2009-10-06T10:00:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I took Kale Palmer on a date day! :) I had taken his sister Kate two weeks before and he had asked if He and I could go on one too! Of course I said yes! :) So that day we made a paper chain that he got to rip one circle off a day until our date! :) He was so very excited! He was beside himself with joy! :)
So the day finally came and he was ready to go! He got to pick where we went to lunch and he decided to go to McDonald's even though I tried really hard to get him to go some where else he was stuck on McDonald's! However he didn't want to go inside he wanted to go through the drive Thur cause he thinks it is much more fun! :) So that is what we did! But then came the decision of where are we going to eat it at! It was not the warmest day to have a picnic so we went to Starbucks! We ate our food and then we went to fuzziwigs for some movie candy! :) He was in heaven to say the least! :)
Once we had picked out the candy we headed back to Starbucks to give Mr. KC some candy! :) Mr. KC had also made us apple cider which was delicious! :)

Finally it was time for the movie so we headed over to the theater and as we are driving Kale began to talk about will power! To which I replied well what is will power bubba?? And this was his definition..... it is this thing in your body that makes you not eat junk! Oh man was I giggling! :) This little man just cracks me up! :) Later on that night when Jill asked him how he knew what will power was he said that daddy had told him which made it even more funny! ;)
Once we got into the movies we got our tickets, popcorn, drinks, and 3D glasses and man was he so excited! We went in and sat down and decided to take some funny pictures while we waited for the show to start! :) Once the show started and the screen told us to put on our 3D glasses Kale kept taking his on and off saying 3D, blurry, 3D, blurry! It was making me giggle! :) Then once Toy Story started he tapped me on the arm and said "Miss. Jinny the things are popping out at my eyes" which again made me giggle! It was so much fun getting to experience the movie through his eyes! :)After the first Toy Story there was a intermission and Kale needed to go potty so we did! Well before I could tell him to stop he ran into the men's bathroom thinking I could go in there with him! So I hear him yell "Miss. Jinny are you coming?" After he was all done going potty I heard the water turn on so he could wash his hand and then I heard it shut off! :) After the water was turned off I heard him say "WOW" so when he came out I asked him what was so cool and he said how he can just wave his hands and the paper towels just come out! :)
It was so much fun getting to go on a date with Kale! He is totally different when he is all on his own then when he is with other kids and it really blessed me to get to know this side of him! We had a blast and on our way home he asked he if we could plan another date! :) And he kept saying through out the day how this was the best day of his life and how he would never forget is as long as he lived! :)

Thankful Thursdays!

2009-10-01T22:22:00.000-07:00

THIS WEEK I AM THANKFUL FOR......

THE PRIVILEGE IT IS TO BE A PASTORS DAUGHTER!
God choose me to be the daughter of a pastor (Me) how cool is that! My parents always raised me that it was a privilege to be a pastors kids! That God has a calling on my life and that He choose me to be a pastors daughter! I am so blessed and honored that God put me into a pastors family! I think it is one of the most amazing and humbling experiences in my life! Thank you Jesus for allowing and choosing me to be a pastors daughter! It is such an honor and privilege!

THE CALLING GOD HAS PLACED ON MY LIFE!
There is no other person in the world who can fill the calling that God has placed on my life but me how cool is that! :) Man how much does my God loves me amazes me daily! :)

THE FAMILY GOD PUT ME IN!
No matter what trials my family may go through I am thankful that God gave me the Dad that I have, the Mom that I have, and the two brothers that I have! All of the flaws that go with them I love them just the same! And I am blessed to call them my family!

THE PASSION THAT GOD HAS PUT IN MY HEART FOR CHILDREN AND YOUTH!
How amazing is it that God gives me the time to invest into children and young people who someday will become future senior pastors, youth pastors, children's pastors, teachers, missionaries, and world changers! I am so honor and blessed that the passion He has placed in my heart is burning brighter then ever! :) What an honor it is to serve them!

The Story of painting the River Runners Classroom! :)

2009-09-26T15:05:00.001-07:00

Let the painting begin and end! This month Emm, Joshua, and I redid our 4, 5, and 6 year old classroom called River Runners! We had a blast however it took forever. I think I calculated how long I worked on the room and it was at least 48 hours! Man it was all worth it! I think it looks amazing! :) Thank you Emm, and Josh for helping me do it! :) I has so much fun! :) Be for warned there are a lot of pictures!

The room before we got started! :)

Before Pictures!

Still before pictures! :)

The last glance at the old room! :)

Let the painting begin! :)

April and Jinny where here I promise! :)

The first coat, or so we thought lol!

Another angle of the first coat! :)

And another! :)

And the other side of the rooms first coat! :)

Aprils hand is on the left and my hand is on the right! :)

Hehehe! My hand print! :)

Then Emm and Joshua showed up and the paint fits began lol! You better watch out Joshua!

Come on you two lets get to work! :)

Okay one more cute picture then it is back to work for you! :)

This is what I like to see! :)

Then it was time for a coffee break! :) This picture is horrible but oh well we had to show that we went to starbucks! :)

Emm painting in the corner! :)

She did a good job don't you think! ;)

Emmalee Joy

The first coat of blue is done! Lets call it a night! :)

The next morning I was on my own! I had a huge project ahead of me! :)

Second coat of blue is done! :)

First coat of purple is done! :)

Josh and Emm where suppose to be helping me but they where not there so I had to show them some love hehehe! :)

First coat of white on the white board wall! While the purple dried! :)

Second coat of purple! :)

First coat of white on the door! :)

The yellow wall is done! And come to find out I used outside paint on this wall lol! But shh don't tell! :)

First white coat on the green wall! :)

Second coat!

First green coat is on and outside is getting dark it was a little freaky! lol :)

My wonderful tape ball! :)

The solid colors are done! ;) 12 hours and it is finished, well at least for that day! :)

Ready for church the next day! :)

Monday started the polka dot wall! :) This time I had Emm with me! ;)

These are all the pretty colors! :)

Emma's shoes and the pretty colors!

Painting the polka dots was so much fun! :)

We had fun writing in the polka dots! :) Emm must love me or something! ;)

Painting my favorite color! :)

Jinny + Emma = <3

Uganda Africa! Is it God's will???

Just for fun! ;)

Ta Da! :)

Isn't it so pretty! :)

Now it is time to start the strips! :) And Emma thought it would be good to use her feet to help with the straight lines! :)

I am not so good at straight lines even with a ruler so Emma got to have this job! :)

Then a wonderful surprised happened and three helpers came! :) So the three of us painted while.....

These two taped! :)

We did so good and we went along really fast they where such good helpers! :)

Ruthie was here! :)

Josh surprised us and this is what happened! :)

Emm joining in on the painting fun! :)

But don't get her mad or scared cause you never know what might happen! :)

The finished paint with the tape still on!

Now the tape is off! :)

And finally the wall is complete with a new bass board and all! :)

Josh got to do the little green part on top of the cabinets! :)

And our colorful ball! ;)

The End! Thank you Jesus! :)

Thankful Thursdays!

2009-09-24T22:39:00.000-07:00

TODAY I AM THANKFUL FOR......

The chance to get healthy and to live life to the fullest!

The years that I had with my daddy!

The chance to reconnect with my Aunt Kathy (dad's sister) on facebook!

The chance to take Kate out on a date!

The heart that God has given me for kids!

The desires God has placed on my heart!

Fall and the leaves that are changing colors!

The cold weather and warm beds!

My Heart Breaks!

2009-09-23T21:35:00.000-07:00

On Monday night I found out that a friend from high school as well as youth group was diagnosed with stomach cancer! She was 7 months pregnant when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer which meant that they had to give the baby steroids to help the lungs develop faster so that they could deliver the sweet baby girl early and remove the cancer. When they went in to do the surgery they found that she didn't have ovarian cancer but that she had stomach cancer. Her baby is now 2 months and on Monday Alisha was told that her cancer was terminal.

Tonight my heart is heavy and my eyes are filled with tears as I write this post! Alisha has gone to be with Jesus leaving behind a husband, and two daughters ages 6 and 2 months. Words can not even express the pain I feel for them right now! My heart literally hurts for them. My tears are being shade for them. So many times we don't understand God's timing. There are so many questions that are going on in our minds... She was only 26 years old! That is only 3 years older then I am!

To be honest it brings back a lot of the pain and emotions that I went through when my dad passed away! My heart hurts for those two little girls. It was hard to lose a parent at 18 but I couldn't imagine losing one at 6 or 2 months! I wish I knew what I could do for them! I wish I could hold both of those little girls and pray over them! Tell them how loved they where by their mommy and how God has a huge plan for their lives! I wish I could take away the hurt that they are going through. How do you explain to a 6 year old that her mommy has gone to be with Jesus! How do you explain to a 2 month old when she grows up who her mommy was and why she died?

If I could tell them just one thing I would want them to always know that God is a good God. That He loves them so much. That no matter the struggles you may face to always rely and trust on Him. Even when you might be mad at Him, He is there to hold you and comfort you!

For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future!

Jeremiah 29:11

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understandings. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight!

Life is so precious so live every moment to the fullest never looking to the back or to the sides. Keep your eye focused on Jesus and walk with Him daily!

Kate and I's Special Date! :)

2009-09-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took Kate Elizabeth out on a very special date! :) We had a blast! :) She got to pick where she wanted to go to lunch and she choose CJ's. If you have never just sat and talked to this girl it is truly amazing how smart she is! :) After lunch we went to Fuzziwigs candy store and she was in heaven! She couldn't believe that there was that much candy in one place! After she had picked out all the candy she wanted we headed to the movie theater! We got our popcorn and root beer and headed into the theater. We sat there for an hour and a half waiting for the movie to get fix. Finally they came out and said that they could not fix it but that we where more then welcome to come back for the 4 o'clock show! So Kate decided that we should go to the mall to waste some time! :) She wanted to ride on the "toys" at the mall! :) Once it was time for the 4 o'clock show to start we headed back over! We got some more popcorn and root beer and headed in for our second attempt which was a success! :) She was so much fun to be with and she was glued to the movie! She said some funny things on our date that just can't go with out being published :) so get ready to laugh out loud......

At lunch our waitress called me honey and after she had left Kate said to me, "Miss. Jinny why did that fluffy lady call you honey?" The older couple next to us thought it was quit funny as did I! :)

Through out our date I kept telling her that she was cracking me up so out of the blue she told me that I was cracking her up! :)

Once the movie finally started there was a preview for a Michael Jackson video, when the preview was almost over she lead over to me and said, "Miss. Jinny, Michael looks like a girl.

Then right after that preview there was a preview that had the song Sweet Home Alabama in it and she yells, "Hey I know that song."

Finally as we are walking out of the movie theater she says, "Miss. Jinny that movie had a lot of good things in it like Ice Cream!

Seriously there was a lot more cute and funny things that she said but I can't remember them all! She really had me cracking up all day long! :) I truly had a blast and I can't wait to have my date with Kale in 14 days! :) He is super excited we even made a counting chain tonight! :)

Prayerful Fridays! (Matt)

2009-09-18T08:00:00.000-07:00

This Friday along with many other things I am praying for my brother Matt! He and I are very close! We have been close since I was really little! He is having a really hard time right now with his job! He is a hard worker and he loves his job! His boss has been saying some stuff that is not true and is trying to get him to either quite or be fired! Matt loves his job and does not want to leave! He wants to do whatever God wants him to and he just need clear direction! Would you please pray with me for his stress level, for clear direction, for faith, and for trust! Pray that God's will be done is this situation and that Matt can be a light in his work place!

What are you praying for today???

Thankful Thursdays!

2009-09-17T10:47:00.001-07:00

This week I am so Thankful for my family of chose! :) I love my biological family very much and I am blessed to have them in my life! However I also love my family of chose! These are people who are in my life by chose! They are people who challenge me to be a better person and be all that God has created me to be! People who will stand by me no matter what! So today I am thankful for you.......

......... The Palmer Family

..........The Kline Family

...........The Saunders Family

............The Dolbee Family

............The Davila Family

............ The Quisenberry Family

...........The Lobmeyer Family

............The Lee Family

............The Bleger Family

............The Zee Family

I am sorry if I forgot anyone please forgive me! :) I love you all and I am blessed to have you all in my life! :) I don't have pictures of all of you but here are a few that I do have! :)

Trip to Farmington with Emm and Josh!

2009-09-12T08:00:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday Emmie, Joshi, and I went to Farmington to go shopping for the supplies we needed to paint the River Runners classroom! (pictures to come) We had a blast or at least I did! :) So here are a few pictures from our road trip to Farmington. Emm and Josh showed up at my front door at 7:45am. I was so sleepy and no we did not get any pictures of me waking up I would have broken the camera! :)

The driver! :)

The driver with a lip job! Thanks Joshi for taking this picture from the back seat it is amazing!

Josh enjoying a yummy donut and coffee!Yummy!!!!Emmie enjoying some yummy coffee as I drive!

Now it was Emmie's turn to enjoy a yummy donut!

Playing and hanging out at the teacher store while we waited for our stuff to be laminated!

Hehehe how cute is this picture! :)

Emm showing us her muscals! :)

Where did Miss. Jinny Go???

Our superhero popper outers!

Emm and her yellow horse! :)

Oh how I love my horse! :)I really do love my horse! :)Josh is a pro horse rider! :)Now you do know that these are Art not Jungle Gyms right?? Hehehe we got in trouble and that is what the guy said to us lol it made us all giggle!Emm and her hot bootsOh the fun we have in Hobby Lobby!We thought this machine was so cool so we had to take pictures with it! :)

Prayerful Fridays! Joshua Gulvas

2009-09-11T09:06:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday a young man the age of 21 was hiking in the woods with his dad when they got separated! They came here to Durango to help the Master Plans College Ministry camp that we have here. The dad looked for him till nightfall and then came into cell service to report his son missing. As far as I know they still have not found him. They have search and rescue looking for him as well as dogs helping. The temp has dropped really low the last few nights. They are searching through pretty thick mountains.

Please pray with me.....

* For Josh that he is safe and okay and that he can feel Gods peace and comfort

* For his Dad that he will not feel guilty and for peace

* For Joshua's family for peace and comfort

* For the searchers that they will hear Gods voice and be directed to find Josh as well as

* For the safety of all the search and rescue works

What are you praying for this Friday???

Thankful Thursdays!

2009-09-10T22:32:00.000-07:00

I have 4 minutes to go until this Thursday is over and although I am very tired I can't sleep until I write my post! :) These are some random things that I am thankful for... :)

This week I am thankful for.......

1. Fall..... it is my favoritest season ever and I am so excited that it is starting to come!
2. Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Lattes they are super yummy and perfect for fall!
3. My youth girls they are so amazing and I am so blessed to have them in my life!
4. Candles because they make me warm inside and my house smell yummy!
5. For friends old and new!
6. For the privilege to serve in Children's Ministry!
7. For my car even though it does not have powered windows!
8. For all the amazing men and women who serve our country!

What are you thankful for this Thursday?

My Hearts Cry!

2009-09-05T08:00:00.000-07:00

I want to fall in love with my Savior and Daddy more! This song is totally my hearts cry right now! I might not agree with everything that has happen or will happen in my life but one thing will remain true I love Jesus Christ and I want to sit at His feet for the rest of my life! And I know that God only gives me as much as I can handle!

The More I Seek You

The more I seek you, the more I find you
The more I find you, the more I love you.

I want to sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand
Lay back against you and breath
Feel your heart beat

This love is so deep, its more then I can stand
I melt in your peace its overwhelming

(Repeat all Verses 3 times)

Prayerful Fridays!

2009-09-04T09:51:00.000-07:00

Wow can you believe that it is Friday already??? This week has gone by super fast! :) Along with praying for Jubilee still I have been praying for a struggling with something.

I have been really missing my family lately! I have been missing family nights and snuggles on the couch with my daddy! So I have been praying a lot about this! I am not mad at God for the way my life is right not because I have a lot of amazing things happening in my life right now I am just really missing my family! I miss family nights and road trips! When I was little I hated them but now that I am all grown up I miss them! I wish I would not have taken them for granted so many years ago! I guess the saying in true that you don't know what you have till you have lost it!

I have been having a really had time with my mom lately! It is not that I don't love her or support her in getting healthy it is just that I feel like I have been taking care of her for so long! I really wish I had my mom who could listen to me and help take care of me! So for right now I have decided not to talk to her which to be honest has been really hard! I miss her so much however I miss my mom who I grew up with not my mom who has been around for the last 5 years.

So my prayer this week is that God will restore relationships with the family I do have and that He will continue the healing process in all our lives! I know that God has HUGE plans for my life and for my families lives I just pray that we will be able to walk through life together!

What are you praying for this Friday???

Thankful Thursdays! (Breakfast in our Jammies)

2009-09-03T08:00:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago Ashley Zee and I decided to surprise Emm and take her to breakfast in our jammies! :) She was such a good sport and totally went a long! We had a blast! :) So this Thursday I am thankful for girly fun with Emm and Ashley.......

I am thankful for yummy starbucks coffee that we can enjoy together! :)
I am thankful for fish stores that we can go in and act totally silly! :)
I am thankful for Emmie's funny sense of humor! She wanted me to buy her these earrings and said that if I didn't she would throw a fit in the middle of wal-mart so she did! :)
I am thankful for Thrift stores that we can go and be totally silly in and just have a blast! :)

I am thankful for these two gals! :) I have so much with them! :) It is such a blast! I am so blessed to have them in my life! :)

River Run for Orphans 2009 (Adoption)

2009-09-02T15:04:00.001-07:00

Kisses for Lizzy! :) What a sweet blessing she is to so many! :)

Mine and Anna's numbers! We did it! ;)

This past Saturday was the 2nd annual River Run for Orphans here in Durango! My church puts it on and last year we raised a total of 8,000 dollars for orphans all over the world! This year we raised 22,000 dollars how amazing is that! :) For the last two years I have walked the 3.2 miles for the orphans all over the world. It is so awesome to see hundreds of people come out and raise money for the orphans.
God has put a huge burden on my heart for the orphans, ever since I was a little girl I have had a heart for the orphans. On Christmas when my parents would ask me what I wanted from Santa I would say a baby sister to which my parents would reply we can't have anymore babies Jinny. Then me having a heart for the orphans would tell my dad that they could adopt a little girl and put her under the tree! :) hehehe! Although this never happened I still to this day have a huge heart for orphans and adoption. I have always wanted to adopt and know that someday soon I will. :) There are so many boys and girls all over the world waiting for a mommy or a mommy and a daddy to come and take them home! More on this later! :)
So on Saturday we had a blast! I ran with Elisabeth who is a little 3 year old girl adopted from Africa in the mile fun run for kids! She was so adorable and we had a blast! :) Every time I see her and her brother my heart melts. I have always wanted little chocolate babies! :) Then after the fun run two of my friends and I walked the 3.2 miles! While I was walking I would think about the reason I was doing it and tears would come to my eyes! Why are there so many boys and girls who need homes when there are so many people who have homes, arms and hearts ready for them to come live in?? If I could I seriously would take every single orphan in the world and wrap them up in my arms. Have you ever thought about adoption? If not I would encourage you to pray about it! There are so many little boys and girls out there just waiting for someone to love them and tell them how much they are loved! :)

Joshi and Lizzy she is one of the reasons we do this run each year yippee Jesus!Some of the Well leaders and students after we all either ran or walked the 5k!Lizzy and Daddy walked the first lap and then Miss. Jinny and Lizzy finished! :)Joshi and Elijah another reason we do this run he now has a family who loves him! :)Emmie sold bracelets and necklaces for the girls in Africa!

Memorial Box Monday! (My Car Betty)

2009-08-31T14:41:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine started a blog post called Memorial Box Monday's a little less then a year ago. It is a blog post that you post each Monday about something God has done for you that you want to remember! Along with the post she has a memorial box that she keeps little trinkets in to help her and her family remember what God has done for them! I have decided that I am going to start doing this as well. Although I do not have a memorial box yet (I am looking for one) :)! I think that we all need to be reminded of the amazing things God has done in our lives! If you would like to read more about what Memorial Box's are all about click here!

Now for my First Official Memorial Box Story: (My Car Betty)

In May of 2004 I graduated from high school which is a huge mile stone in any one's life! My dad had died the month before so life really wasn't the same. I was basically just living life to get by. I had been telling my parents that I really wanted a car for graduation because the one that I had was giving me lots of problems. I was not sure what I wanted to do in the future but I did know that I needed a reliable car to see my dreams come true. My parents never said no we can't get that for you they just told me to pray for it so that is what I did. I started to pray that God would provide me with a reliable car. I didn't really care what type, color, or year just a good car.

As I continued to pray all of the stuff with my dad and family happened. I thought there is not way now that I will get a car in a month when I graduate. However I continued to pray. I knew that God was my provider not my dad. As the month went on I had no clue what to expect. I was so excited to graduate and start the next phase of my life.

Graduation day came and my friend Krissie came to pick me up for graduation practice. As she drove up to my front door she was in a brand new black car. It was beautiful and she was so excited. We drove to practice in her car and had a blast while I continued to trust God. I even said Lord if I don't get a car today I pray that in your timing I will. I trust you Lord.

After the practice Krissie dropped me off at my house so that we both could get ready for our graduation party which we had a joined one. Once I was ready I went upstairs and people started to show up. My dad's parents and my youth pastors from Lubbock both came just to celebrate with me, which made me feel really special. A little while into the party they all came to me and said can we go out back to take pictures. I was so bugged cause I was like all these people are here to see me and you want me to leave them and come take pictures with you. I was so confused and bugged however I did it. I can remember trying to hurry them up so that I could get out and see everyone.

Finally my mom came out to the back deck and said Jinny there is someone here to see you. So of course I followed her outside thinking that there was someone there to see me lol. But instead of a person there was a little "WHITE FORD FOCUS" wanting for me, with a big red bow on the top. :) I was shocked to say the least. At first I didn't think it was for me till my mom handed me the keys. I screamed so loud that I think all of Skyridge heard me! :) My older brother came over and asked me if I wanted to take a drive. Which of course I did so we got in and I started up my beautiful little car. Which I have named Betty! :) When I got in there was a brand new CD player which my brother had bought me for my graduation. We drove around skyridge as I was in shock! It was so amazing! :) Then I found out that it was not just my mom who had bought me my car it was about 10 other families who helped pay for it. Man did that bless my socks off. It may not be the most up to date car and no it does not have POWER windows but it is my little buddy that I am so thankful for. :)

This was such an amazing testimony to me that no matter how stupid I might think the thing I am praying for is that to God it is very important.

Prayerful Fridays! (Please pray with me for this sweet Girl)

2009-08-28T10:12:00.002-07:00

There are so many things to be praying for so I decided to start PRAYERFUL FRIDAYS! Each week I am going to let you, my blogging friends know about something big that I am praying to God for and I will ask you to pray along with me! :) Then in turn if you would like to make a post about something big you are praying for I will pray along with you! :) Sounds like fun huh? :) Lets begin to be prayer partners for each other, and watch our mountain moving God work on our behalf's! Let the prayers begin.

A dear family who I am close to are in the process of adopting a little girl they have named Jubilee from Ch*na. They have been in the process for over a year now, got the approval for the adoption and this week where told that Ch*na had withdrawn their approval for them to be Jubilee's parents. This family has 6 adopted children who live in their home right now! They are amazing parents who love every single one of their 9 (soon to be 10) children. Jubilee is a sweet little girl who is waiting for her mommy and daddy to come and hold her in their arms and take her HOME FOREVER. As I sit here and read this tears fill my eyes to think of this sweet, precious, miracle big girl who is sitting over in Ch*na wondering when her family is going to come!

So this is my question for you.... Will you please join me in praying for Jubilee. Pray that God will change the hearts of the Ch*nese government and that Jubilee will get to come home to her family soon. Pray that God will touch Jubilees heart and give her peace in knowing that God is working the night shift on her behalf and that He has an amazing family coming to get her soon. Pray that this amazing family will continue to stand strong and believe in Gods might hands that can move mountains. Pray that God will continue to bring their hearts and Jubilees heart together and that His Will, will be done!

Thankful Thursdays! (A Few Random Things)

2009-08-27T18:37:00.000-07:00

This Thursday I am Thankful for so many things! :)

I am thankful for my cute little house, it might be small and it doesn't have a full on kitchen but it is just perfect for me :)

I am thankful for my job! Man it is so awesome how God works everything out! I love my job and I love the little boy that I watch! :) Noah Patrick you are such a blessing in my life! :) It is also good practice for when I am a mommy myself! :)
I am thankful for new friends like my other pea to my pod Brenda! It is so awesome how God brings people into your life at just the right time! :)
I am thankful for the opprotunity to minister to kids on a weekly basis! :) It is such an honor to share the love of Jesus to little ones! :)

I am thankful for the opprotuinty to invest in teenage girls! They are so much fun to hang out with and get to know! :) It is awesome to see how God is working in their lives!
What are you Thankful for this Thursday?

Only My God!

2009-08-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

For the last four and a half years I worked at a christian preschool here in Durango. I loved my job and I loved the kids that I taught! However last January things had gotten bad, there was a lot of stuff going on that I did not agree with or believe in so it was getting really difficult to work there. I loved the kids and I did not want to just leave and not finish out the school year! I prayed for months about what to do... should I leave, should I stay, should I start looking for a new job, what should I do Lord? I stuck it out through the school year and continued to pray about what to do. I prayed that God would open the doors that where suppose to be open and close the doors that where suppose to be closed. I didn't know what God had for my future but I continued to trust that He would lead me in the right direction.I was not only working 40+ hours a week, I was also very involved in the Children's Ministry at my church! Actually I still am very involved and I was also praying about what to do when it came to Children's Ministry as well. I love working with the amazing teachers and with the kids. I seriously love it more then my job so I was just praying that God would show me what I was suppose to do. It was hard because I was working full time on top of working on Children's Ministry stuff at least 20 hours a week. I knew that I could not do that again because it was just way to much! However I seriously would give up my job before I would stepped down from Children's Ministry! It has my heart and I love every minute of it! :)So as I continued to pray that God would show me with a "neon sign" what I was suppose to do. On the last day of school we had a huge ice social to say good bye to all the kids. It was very sad because I seriously LOVE my kids. And since I worked with the 4 year old's they won't be coming back next year. It was a very emotional day that I will never forget. I left the school ready and excited for a long girls weekend with Heather. We had a blast! :) The last night that we where there I got a phone call from a friend that I work with informing me that when she went in to set up her classroom that there was another lady in my classroom. So to make a long story short I found out through my co teacher that I was fired! It was a very hard thing to take because I did love the kids however I knew that I had been praying that God would open and shut doors as he saw fit.I will admit that I was freaking out because I was worried about finances and trying to find a job but Only My God will provided! Not even a week later a friend of mine called and said hey Rachel and Brian are looking for a nanny for their little boy Noah you should call and talk to them. So I did and low and behold they asked me to become their nanny! :) I was so thrilled! :) Now as I said earlier I did not want to give up on Children's Ministry so what did God do?? He gave me a job where I work 3 days a week 10 hour days for 2 dollars more an hour then I was making at the preschool! How amazing is that... So now I can nanny on top of doing everything that I wanted to to for Children's Ministry! :) So something that I thought was going to be not so good turned out to be perfect! :) ONLY MY GOD! :)

Who needs Men..... (when you have two women)

2009-07-31T18:34:00.000-07:00

Okay so tomorrow I will be moving into my own little studio apartment. This will be my first time ever living on my own as in only me! :) I am super excited for this new chapter in my life and I seriously can't wait! :) So this past week I have been packing and preparing every thing to move! I have been wanting a black dresser for a long time and I have been looking every where... online, in stores, at thrift shops, and at garage sales but I couldn't find one I wanted!
So I decided to get a dresser I liked and paint it black easy right??? So on Wednesday the adventure began... Ashley and I went to ACE hardware and found someone to help us! :) I had no clue what I was doing so of course I asked for help first thing. A very nice man helped us out and answered all my silly girl questions. We left ACE with a can of primer, a can of black paint, stir sticks, and a paint can opener ready to start our mission. When we got home we brought the dresser downstairs and started painting.First we started with primer, I forgot to ask how many coats of primer I was suppose to put on so I posted a status of Facebook asking for help from my friends, some where helpful and some where not so much however they made me giggle! :) I finally decided to just put one coat of primer on a call it good! :) After the primer we had to wait for an hour before we could start actually painting it black..... so we waited! :) Then finally the time came!We put the first black coat on and decided that we need to do another one so guess what that meant ..... More waiting :)Now to tell the truth we where suppose to wait 2 - 4 hours to put on the next coat but I was not that patient. So after about an hour and a half we decided to start painting again! :) Once it was all done it looked so pretty and all we where waiting for where handles! :)So today I went to Home Depot and picked out the perfect handles! I am so proud of my dresser I think I might just become a dresser reduer and sell them.... Do you think anyone will buy them?? :) This was such a fun project! :) I am so happy that I took on this adventure! Now I know I can paint a dresser with out a mans help! :) *giggle*

Thankful Thursday! (Jilly Palmer)

2009-07-30T08:58:00.000-07:00

This Thursday is a good friend/sister of mines birthday so today I am Thankful for Jill Marie Palmer. And here is why.....

1. She is an amazing women of God! She challenges me to be a better women and friend. She encourages me to chase my dreams and to fall in love with our Savior daily.

2. She has adopted me into her family. I am blessed that I get to hang out with her and her family every week and they truly are my family. She is my sister and I thank God for the amazing gift He has given me in her! :)

3. She is an amazing friend who loves unconditionally and who inspires me to be more like Christ.

4. She is an amazing mom who loves her kids and who has the most adorable kids ever. She has shown me what a great mom looks like and I pray one day when I have kids of my own I will be able to teach, love, guide, and train my kids like her!

5. She is an amazing wife (Okay I am not her husband) however I do see her interact with her husband and she has such an amazing love for her hunk a hunk a burning love! :) She supports him and encourages him in everything he does.

6. She is funny.... she makes me LOL a lot which I know she loves! :) Plus she makes me giggle a lot she lights up a dark day with her humor! :)

7. She is a great listener who encourages when you need to be encourage and challenges when you need to be challenges.

8. She has great wisdom and truly shares her heart in any situation. After seeking God first!

9. She seeks God in everything she does.

10. She is a huge blessing in my life and I thank God for the blessing He has given me!

Happy Birthday Jill Marie. I know I don't say it enough but I love you and I am blessed to have you in my life. I pray that today in an amazing day for you! You deserve it! :)

What are you thankful for???

My Hearts Cry!

2009-07-28T08:00:00.001-07:00

After my dad past away this song became my hearts cry! I know that God will only give me as much as I can handle and sometimes I ask why me Lord? Why? However as hard as it is sometime I tell Him "I trust you Lord" and no matter what might come in my path I will walk with You! I would be lying if I said that it is easy to say this and every day just gets easier and easier because it doesn't. But I know that God works the night shift and although I may not understand I still "Trust you Him"! It is a day by day trust that I have to be willing to take the step to trust Him. No matter what curve ball might come my way I Trust God and know that He is going to give me whatever I need to catch that ball and run into His loving arms. So these words are my true hearts cry.......

If You Want Me Too
Ginny Owens

The path way is broken and the signs are unclear
I don't know the reason why you've brought me here
but just because you love me the way that you do
I'm gonna walk through the valley if you want me to.

Cause I'm not who I was when I took my first step
and I'm clinging to the promise your not through with we me yet.
So if all of these trials bring me closer to you,
then I will go through the fire if you want me to.

It may not be the way I would have choose
when you lead me through a world that's not my home.
But you never said it would be easy
you only said I'll never go alone.

So when the whole world turns against me
and I'm all by myself and I can't hear you answer my cries for help.
I'll remember the suffering your love put your through,
and I will go through the valley if you want me to.

A Friends Sweet Words!

2009-07-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

A dear friend on facebook sent me this message last week! It really touched my heart so I asked her if I could post it on my blog! She said yes however I have changed her name to keep her privacy! Thank you dear Friend for your encouraging words! :)

"I just read some of your blog --- especially the ones regarding your Mom. Thank you for all that you shared. My eyes welled up with tears feeling a little bit of what you all are going through and remembering the pain I have been through.

I had tough years living with a difficult, controlling Dad and lacking any self-esteem as a teenager, feeling lots of rejection. I understand the feeling of "why am I here?" and "what use am I?". I ached, prayed, cried many times for God to intervene in me, in my parents. Some people described my Dad as an alchoholic without the alcohol. Those years were sooooooo hard to say the least. Many times, I was so confused, hurt and troubled .....all I could do was worship God and say, "I believe You God". I couldn't make sense out of life. BUT, He was a Rock when it felt there was nothing else to hang onto. I wondered whether my life held any value. People would say, "just be yourself". I didn't know who that was. I had to dig into who does God say that I am and what value has He placed on my life. That's when Psalm 139 became my scripture.

Now, I am pleased to say, God has changed my Dad and is changing him. I talked to him on the phone for 1 1/2 hours. We discussed the things of the Lord. It was amazing and totally different! God does the impossible and I wanted to encourage you with this testimony. The prayer of the righteous avails much. So, keep praying, keep having faith, keep trusting!

Father God, you have come to heal the brokenhearted, to set the prisoner's free. So, I proclaim liberty to Jinny's mom, Tammy. I break off the chains and the lies that the enemy has sought to keep her in. I ask that your Spirit of Truth would minister non-stop to Tammy and that Your work of restoration would prevail. I cut off all yokes of bondage, depression and I reclaim all that the enemy has stolen. I ask for Your kingdom to come in her life on earth as it is in heaven (where there is no depression, no sorrow, but life and joy in You). You are a GOOD God. I pray for the release of Your Goodness to flow like a river into Jinny and Tammy. Thank you Father God that nothing is impossible with You. The glory belongs to you! Amen."

Love you Jinny,
Christian

Update on Mom #6 (Going Home)

2009-07-27T11:25:00.000-07:00

Mom went to the doctor on Friday and everything went really, really, really well! The infection that she has is a rare form and better then they thought! Which is amazing! (thank you all for your prayers) they have worked! :) They took out the pick line that was going into her heart this morning. The doctor also looked at all the infection sites and everything is looking really good there is no puss anywhere which is a really good sign. She will still have to take oral meds to just make sure that everything is gone! She will be leaving Four Corners tomorrow and moving in with a good friend! She is happy to be moving however now the legal end of things start! Please pray for God's will to be done and that she can go get some serious mental help! And learn how to fall in love with her Savior all over again! Thank you all for y'alls continued prayer you are all amazing and just a blessing!

Update on Mom #5 (Infection)

2009-07-21T16:25:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys!

Okay so mom had the surgery to clean out all the infection (what they thought was all) last night at about 7:30 pm thank you for all your prayers! Please don't stop praying I just talked to her a few minutes ago as was informed that the infection is pretty bad! They had put a tub in through her arm pit that goes straight to her heart because they have to administer drugs to her through this tub for 6 WEEKS! This is all I know at this point but I will be talking to my mom in the next little bit and getting the whole scoop. She did inform me that there are many things that she needed to tell me about so please pray that our mountain moving God will move might in this situation! I promise to post more as soon as I hear! Thank you guys again for you continued prayer.

Beauty and God's Sweet Whispers

2009-07-10T14:31:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up with this song in my head and as I was singing it God told me this..... Yes this song was made for you to worship me with but just as much as you worship me with this song I sing the words over you as well and this is how I view Jinny! This brings tears to my eyes and I have had it in my head all day long! I am beautiful to God!

You are beautiful beyond description
To marvelous for words
To wonderful for comprehension
Like nothing ever see or heard
Who can grasp you infinite wisdom
Who can fathom the depths of your love
You are beautiful beyond description

4th of July 2009

2009-07-06T13:42:00.000-07:00

This year I went to Silverton with Ashley and Heather for the fireworks. We had so much fun and we where laughing to much I almost peed in my pants a little. :) The fireworks where really loud and I jumped a lot but they where really pretty! So here are some pictures of our fun 4th of July! :)

Pretty Fireworks

Best Friends Being Crazy what can we say :)

Now that is a good one :)

Laying on the car waiting for the firework show to start :)

What fun we had :)

Heather helping Ashley get on the trunk it was really funny :)

Me and Heather Cheese

Just me :)

Heather getting ready for the pretty show :)

Ashley's beautiful hat

Ashley making faces at herself with my camara

Talking on the phone to each other

Talking on the phone to each other 2

Oh skip skip skip to my lou

Yummy yummy fruit snacks :)

Thankful Thursdays! (on Saturday July 4th)

2009-07-04T08:00:00.000-07:00

Today I am Thankful for the men and women who fight for our freedom! If it wasn't for them we would not be celebrating the 4th of July like we are today!

There are four men in my life as of right now that I know of who are serving our country.

1. Ryan (my cousin) he has been in the service for several years. He has a wife and two kids at home and I can only imagine how hard it would be to say good bye as he goes off to fight for our country. Thank you Ryan for serving our country and giving me my freedom. Words can never express how much it means to me. Thank you Amber and kids for supporting him and letting him fight for our country! You guys are also hero's in my book because you are giving away time you could have with Ryan and supporting him in fighting.

2. Tyler Saunders thank you for fighting and serving our country. You are such an amazing man of God and I am blessed to know you as friend. You are an amazing man of God and your love for our country does not go unnoticed. You will always be a hero in my book.

3. Bob Desko thank you so much for serving our country and healing our wounded solders in battle. You are such an amazing doctor and friend. You are also a hero in my book! :)

4. Adam Ebner thank you so much for fighting for our freedom. Even in through tough times you continue to stand strong and fight for our freedom and for that I say thank you. You are an amazing musician and man of God. Thank you for giving your life for our country! You are a hero!

And to all the other men and women who server and their families thank you for serving our country!

June Quote and Verse 2009

2009-06-30T08:00:00.001-07:00

Lord, I ask You to be in charge of my future. I don't want to dream dreams if You are not in them. I don't want to make plans that you will not bless. (Stormie Omartian)

A Man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.
Proverbs 16:9

Update on Mom #4 (Foot Sugery!)

2009-06-29T22:00:00.001-07:00

Okay so today was the day! Everything is all fixed up and put back together to the best of the doctors abilities I am sure! :) The surgery went well, they did not put a cast on her foot because they where a little concerned at how the holes in her foot where looking! So they will be keeping a close eye on that and making sure there in no infection in the foot or the bones. Dr. Ferry did a great job and is a really nice lady. Mom is able to move her foot already and that is a good sign. They will continue to watch the leg for at least 48 hours and then they will put her in a hard boot. :( Which I am kind of sad about because I wanted her to get a hot pink cast so that I could sign it! :) As of right now I am not sure about what physical therapy looks like for her but I am sure I will know more details within the next few days.
Angie my mom's (# 1 -4) best friend is here which has been great! She has been a great support and words can not express how thankful I am!
Please continue to pray....
1. That there is no infections
2. That it is a quick recovery
3. That physical therapy does it's job
4. Sleep and peace of mind for me, mom, and Matt
5. God's hand and will be done with the legal end of things
6. That we can find a great christian metal/rehab for her to go to
7. Strength and wisdom for Me

Thank you all so much for all your prayers and support it means so much! :)

My Passion!

2009-06-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

Words can not express to you my love and devotion to children! I have had a heart for kids since I was a child myself. It is a love that I can not explain and a passion that can not be blown out. As I write this tears fill my eyes because of the love that I have for these kids.

Many people ask me how can you love a child so much that is not even your own. To which I reply because even though they are not my own they are God's child and God has placed a love in my heart for them that goes beyond any words.

As a teacher and also as a "children's pastor" I met many different kids. Some who come from great families who love God and who treat their children like precious jewels and others who don't love God and who treat their children like extra work.

Many times when you look into a child's eyes you can see what is going on in their hearts. Children just want to be loved, they want to be accepted and they want to know that someone cares.

Because I myself am not a mom I have not been able to experience many things with a child that a mom does. However I am blessed and honored that I have been called to love on these kids as God loves us. Even if it is just as simple as a morning hug, children know when you truly love them. They yearn for your approval and attention.

My heart for your child is that they would know the love of their Savior. That they would be so bold as to say at the age of 7 I am going to take my Bible to school for show and tell. And even when they are discouraged from getting to share it they invite their friends to read it with them while they are outside at recess.

The Bible says to come before Him like children! What does that tell you?

We look at our children's ministry programs as just a place for kids to go while the adults go to service. This is so wrong. We are training your children to be followers of Christ. To love Him and to know Him as their friend.

If you would just come and see these children's faces light up as you tell them that Jesus loves them. That he died on the cross for their sins and that He wants us to be with Him forever. They get it. We as adults have all these "what if's" while our kids are say "it is." They have the faith that it takes to enter into the kingdom of God. We should be learning from them!

When you ask a child what their favorite Bible story is and they know storied like "Jesus Raising from the Dead", and Jesus Walks on Water they get.They understand who Jesus is and how much Jesus loves them! It blows my mind sometimes how much these kids truly understand!

I want you all to know how thankful I am that God gave me a heart for children. They are such a blessing in my life! Thank you Heavenly Daddy for children! :) I am so excited to be a mommy one day! Children are an amazing blessing for God the Father!

Update on Mom #3

2009-06-27T08:00:00.000-07:00

Okay so now it just makes me giggle every time to talk about all my different mom's! I told my mom today what you said Jill and she laughed and said I should do one about the mom I wish I had and one about the mom I do have and let people vote on which one I should take lol! She was being a little silly! This being said I have a funny story to tell about her that happened today while I was visiting with her! :)

So Robin (a friend of mine) and I went to have lunch with my mom at Four Corners today after she had gotten back from a Cat scan at the hospital! As we sat down my mom's nurse came in to clean out her holes in her leg and foot, two in her leg and one on each side of her foot! Since she had just gotten back from the cat scan it was not wrapped up or anything and it was super nasty! I could see all the scabs growing all around the holes! I had to make her cover them just so I could eat and keep my food down.

Okay sorry onto the funny story so when the nurse came in my mom asked if they could wait to clean it out until we where all done eating and they said it was fine! So we finished eating and the nurse came in to clean it all out! At first I was like I am not watching, that is way to gross but I got over it and it was actually kind of interesting. :) So what they do is take the hydrogen peroxided and poor it into the holes and then once all the scabs are all soft they take goze and rub all around the bars and the inside of the holes to make sure it is all cleaned out.

So the nurse forgot to bring in the goza so she left the room for a minute to go and grab it. In the mean while my mom decided she was going to continue pouring the peroxided into the holes so that when the nurse got back they could just get it done and over with. Well I started talking to Robin and telling her a story when I looked over and saw my mom starting to poor not the peroxided into the holes but DIET COKE! Yes you read me right DIET COKE. I of course started saying mom, mom, mom but she was not listening so I SCREAMED MOOOOMMMMM! And thankfully she stopped right then and I was able to tell her that she was about to poor diet coke into the holes instead of peroxided!
After we where done laughing till I almost peed my pants, I told her that this was totally a blogging moment and that I had to tell you all! So I hope you all get a little giggle out of my mom's diet coke story! :)

By the way the surgery is set for 1 pm on Monday, the 29th! So please keep her, the doctor, and the nurses in your prayers! :)

Update on Mom #2

2009-06-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,

So here is what is going on in the lives of the "Durango MacDonald's"!

1. Mom was moved to Four Corners Nursing Home yesterday and is doing well there. The staff is great and there is an older man who wheels his wheelchair up and down the hall singing all through out the day! Which means mom has a concert all day every day! :)

2. The doctor came by last night to look at mom's foot and said that the healing is going well! Although the nurse's at the nursing home are not cleaning out the holes in her foot right everything is looks good. The doctor did come in and clean them out how they are suppose to and my mom just balled! He took some cleaning fabric and rubbed all inside the holes on both side of her foot to get all the scabs out so that there would not be infection in there. Man does that sound gross! I hope you are not eating while you read this and if you are I am sorry! :)

3. Mom is now in real clothes instead of a hospital gown and she is feeling much better! She had very high spirits today and is doing as well as can be expected.

(I know I know it just made me giggle so I had to put it on here)

4. As of right now her foot surgery is set to happen this coming Monday! I am not sure what time but as soon as I know I will let everyone know! Her and I both will be so happy when that surgery is done! Please pray that it will only have to be one surgery instead of two or three.

5. As for me I am continuing to take it day by day! I am trying to see the things that I can be thankful for in this storm instead of being so down in the dumps! It is easier said then done, however I am thankful that every day is a new day and that God is in control!
Thank you all so much for your prayers and support! It is awesome to know that there are people all over the world reading this and praying for my mom as well as myself! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Thankful/Grateful Thursday!

2009-06-25T16:24:00.000-07:00

This week I am thankful/grateful for many things! Some silly and some not to silly but all the same! :)

I am thankful/grateful for the color green! It is my favorite color and every time I see something that is green it makes me smile! :)I am thankful/grateful for amazing friends. Words can not express how thankful I truly am!I am thankful/grateful for showers and fresh water! I love taking a shower and how good you smell after taking one!

I am thankful/grateful for my bed! It is not the best bed in the world but it is better then the floor! :)

I am thankful/grateful for the Pine Valley Church family who have stepped up and really supported my mom and I through this hard time.

I am thankful/grateful for dogs, who love to cuddle and be your side kick.

I am thankful/grateful for kids, their smiles, hugs, and kisses just make my day.

I am thankful/grateful for lotion, smelly lotion to be exact! :)

I am thankful/grateful for planners, can I just tell you how excited I get when I get to make something off my to do list.
Which also makes me grateful/thankful for pens and highlighters which allow me to write to do lists and mark, I mean highlight them out! :)

I am thankful/grateful for rainy days that make the outsides smell so good! :)

WHAT ARE YOU THANKFUL FOR THIS THURSDAY?

God's Word is True Part 2

2009-06-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

"Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
I have called you by name; and you are mine.
When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.
For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom; I gave Ethiopia and Seba in your place.
Others where given in exchange for you.
I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me.
You are honored, and I love you.

Isaiah 43: 1b-4

This is God's love song over my life right now! That no matter how difficult life might get or how mad I maybe be at Him or the situation He is there to protect me. He is MY Lord, MY Savior, and MY God. He loves me just as much as He loves anyone else. He loves me no matter what I look like or what I am going through.

He has a huge plan and a purpose for MY life. I am PRECIOUS to Him and He LOVES ME. He wants to walk with me through life's toughest moments and life's joyest moments. He wants to hold my hand, carry me, or cuddle me which ever one I need He is there to comfort me.

He is my heavenly daddy and He loves me even more then my earthly daddy did. Man how amazing is that??? At times it is hard to even imagine but when I think of it that way it brings tears to my eyes.

MY GOD loves ME! This is not something easy for me to understand. His love is never changing NO MATTER WHAT! This is something that is going to take a while to set into my head. But how grateful I am that MY GOD loves ME!

Dear Heavenly Daddy,
Thank you for you love and forgiveness! Thank you for walking with me through this storm and for comforting me! Help me to truly understand how much you love me! In your name I pray, AMEN

Kale Says the Funniest Things!

2009-06-23T09:50:00.000-07:00

Last night I was at the Palmer house just like every Monday night and we had a blast. We grilled hot dogs and brats and just stayed outside all night because it is so nice. After dinner we made s'mores in Marks Fathers day fire pit. Kale was holding the marshmallows and I was telling the story about how we use to play chubby bunny in youth group. Kale said that he would not be able to put that many marshmallows in and still say chubby bunny. Mark was turning on the sprinklers and over heard our conversation and said to me that it was a sad day when my mom had heard that a girl was killed playing that game. Which meant that we where no longer to play it anymore. So for about an hour Kale was thinking about that in that little smart brain of his. Well when Mark and Jill went in to put Kate and Jack to bed, Kale and I stayed outside and roasted some more marshmallows. While we where sitting there Kale asked me how I found out about the girl getting hurt from playing Chubby bunny. I told him that I did not find it out but my mom did to that he replies well how did she find out and I told him that she probably heard it on the news. Now this was the funniest part he then tells me that the news probably said something like this ...... "Today a girl was hurt playing a game called chubby bunny." I started laughing so hard and he got this big smile on his face. He is way to smart and so much fun to talk to :) I love you Kale Robert!

God's Word is True!

2009-06-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

I, yes I, am the Lord and there is no other Savior.
First I predicted your rescue, the I saved you and proclaimed it to the world.
No foreign god has ever done this.
You are witnesses that I am the Only God, says the Lord.
From eternity to eternity I am God.
No one can snatch anyone out of my hand.
No one can undo what I have done.

Isaiah 43:11-13

I went to lunch today with a friend and she gave me this scripture and said I have no clue why but God told me to give this scripture to you. So I read it and it brought tears to my eyes. I know that many times two people can read the same verse and get totally different things out of it. So when I read it, it truly gave me comfort.

God knew that this car accident was going to happen and He knew that He was going to save her and give her, her life back. He predicted her rescue and He is going to use this situation to tell the world and my mom how much He loves her, and that no matter the circumstance is He is in control. And one day my mom is going to proclaim to the world HOW GREAT HER GOD IS!

It tells me that there is NO OTHER GOD which means in my moms case she uses alcohol as her god. She drinks because she does not want to feel the pain. She drinks because she does not want to be alone. She drinks because she is hurt and she feels that it is the only thing she can turn to and find comfort in. However God is saying that He is the only God. He is the only one that can HEAL her pain. He is the only one who can be there when she FEELS alone. And He is the only one who can TRULY GIVE her COMFORT.

This verse give me comfort by saying that my God is in control and that NOTHING not even alcohol can snatch my mom out of God's hands and that Nothing can undo what He has ALREADY DONE OR WHAT HE IS GOING TO DO. It shows me that it is okay to give my mom over to God because He loves her even more then I do and He is going to take good care of her.

Thank you Kristy for listening to God and for sharing this verse with me. ONLY MY GOD!

Update and Prayer Requests regarding My Mom!

2009-06-22T21:53:00.000-07:00

So mom is doing a lot better. She is off all IV medican and is being released from the hospital tomorrow! She will then be transferred to Four Corners Nursing home where we will wait for the swelling to go down. I was able to go and watch her physical therapy today and it is painful to see. They have her hold on to these horozontal poles and walk on one foot, then they put a step in the middle of the lane and tell her to jump over it with only one foot. Man it was hard to watch however it totally is a testoment to God's faithfulness and love for her. That she is walking, talking and starting to heal only a week after the accident.

She had her foot bandage changed yesterday and there was a lot of blood and liguards collecting in her heal so they had to reset her foot and they are now allowing that to dran. She was in a lot of pain and said she was balling the whole time. I can't even imagine, however the doctor says it is healing properly and that they are hoping to do the surgery the beginning of July. So please continue to pray that everything heals good and that the surgery goes well.

We also found out that praise Jesus my mom still has insurance from her job, however she has to pay her half as well as the half that her job was paying to keep it. And as you can see she does not have a job and will not for quite sometime. Two women have come and forward to help with this situation and have set up a bank account to help raise some money for not only her insuance but for a rehab as well. So please pray that God will provide all the finances.

It is so amazing to see God work in this situation! I still feel that my mom is talking the pastors wife talk however I am praying specifically for God to blow her mind out of the water and for her to know Him in a totally different light. That she will be able to fall in love with Him as her Father and know Him in a personal way! And that she will allow Him to minister to her and to heal all of her hurts and pains!

Father I pray that in this time you will show and teach my mom about your love and forgiveness. That she will see you as her savior, healer, father and friend. And that she will begin to allow you to take off the bandades so that you can heal all of her. Help her to see how much you love her and how big and amazing your plans are for her life. In your name I pray.... AMEN!

Happy Fathers Day!

2009-06-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

The first Father's Day I celebrated without my dad was in Guatemala! Which was a blessing in deices..... I can remember going home and telling my dad that I wanted to go to Guatemala and that I only had two weeks to get my first deposit in. He told me that I could go but that they could not help me with the money. So that night I set out and wrote my sponsor letter and then my dad proof read it. I sent it out the next day and the money started to flow in. That year I raised enough money to go not only for one year but for two years. It was so amazing and such a testament for me to see how when God puts a dream and passion into your heart HE WILL PROVIDED YOUR EVERY NEED. I was so blessed to be able to go on that trip and I was so happy that I got to spend Fathers day that year with so many amazing men of God who took time out to serve the people of Guatemala. Thank you Lord for the amazing life changing opportunity you provided me with to serve along side these amazing dads.

Okay so this year I decided to post some memorizes I have of my dad. I am so blessed to be raised by such an amazing man of God. He raised me to be the women I am today and I am so thankful for that. I am thankful that he taught me what it meant to have a personal relationship with Christ. He was an amazing dad, husband, pastor, brother, son, and friend. He made a huge impact in my life and I am so thankful that I am his daughter.

Memorize.....

1. I can remember our father daughter dates we would do whatever I wanted to do. I can recall one time when we went downtown and get some ice cream and then sat on a bench. We watched as people would walk by and guess if they where from here or a tourist we would laugh so hard and have so much fun.

2. I can remember when I turned 16 and he took me to Subway to give me my promise ring. I had been begging for one since I was 13 but he said he would not give me one till I turned 16. So when that day came I was so stocked. He asked me be his until I got married. To promise to live my life for Jesus and to continue to stay pure. It was such a sweet and precious time I will never forget.

3. I can remember going to the church and having lunch with my dad during the school week. Most high school students would go out with their friends but I wanted to have lunch with my dad. So I would go to city market pick up some salads and then go to his office and we would eat together. We would talk about our days and whatever else was on our minds, I mean my mind! :)

4. I can remember when I threw him a surprise party for his 46th birthday. His present was to go on a date with me but I had a little plan up my sleeve. :) There was a lot of people who showed and it was a great time. :) He was totally surprised and we had a blast. His party was a little over a month before he died. I will never forget this time.

There are many more memorise that I have of my dad but that would take up a lot of space. Maybe next year I will share a few more! :) HAPPY FATHERS DAY DADDY I LOVE YOU!

Bring the Rain

2009-06-20T14:55:00.000-07:00

Over the past week there has been a song that I have made my prayer! There has been many things that I have walked through in the last 5 years and I know that there is still more stuff to come however this song is what my hearts cry is! The words are so powerful and every time I hear them I start to cry! So I hope you enjoy! :)

Bring the Rain (by Mercy Me)

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've been through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life has changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead i draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings you glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise you
Jesus bring the rain

I am yours regardless of
The clouds that my loon above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings you glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise you
Jesus bring the rain
Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

Mom's Car Accident (Monday June 15, 2009)

2009-06-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

I have decided to blog about what has been happening the last 4 days in the life of Jinny MacDonald! There are pictures involved so if you do not have a strong stomach you might not want to look!

On Monday at about 9 I called my friend Jill to ask for prayer. I have been having a hard time setting boundaries and still loving my mom through her alcoholism. When we got off the phone I realized that I had a message and that my phone did not ring. So I decided to check it. Now this was totally a God thing because it takes me a long time to check my messages as most of you may know. So when I got to the message it was a lady named Mo from the ER telling me that I needed to call her as soon as I could. So I dialed her number and asked to speak to her. When she got on the phone she proceeded to tell me that my mom had been in a car accident and that she was pretty beat up. She was in emergency surgery for her ankle (she shattered her fibula and tibial) and it looked like she would be having surgery for her neck the next day. After that I kind of blanked out! I was crying uncontrollably. I was really scary even though I had been waiting for this phone call to come.

Once I got off the phone with the ER I tried calling my brother Matt several times but he did not answer so I finally left him a message and told him to pick up his damn phone. Then I decided to call Jill, I told her through my tears what had happened and she was just as shocked as I was. She told me to hold on and that she would call Jen and ask her to come get me. During that time I finally got a hold of Matt who was in the shower when I called him over and over and over again. When he picked up I just lost it, I tried to explain to him what was happening but he could not understand me. He told me to take a deep breath and then to start again. I explained to him what I remembered Mo saying and he asked for the number. After that Jen came and picked me up.

Once we got to the hospital Jill was there waiting for us as was Carolann. We went straight up to the OR waiting room hoping that a doctor or nurse would come to talk to us soon! At this point it was about 10 pm. We continued to sit in the waiting room, in the dark until about 1:15 in the morning when finally I got a phone call from Matt saying that the hospital had just called him to say mom was out of surgery. He proceeded to tell them that I was in the waiting room and had been there for many hours. Which we where told by several people that they knew we where there. So finally one of the nurses came out to talk to us! She said that everything went well but that they where not able to do the surgery. Moms muscles where to tight for them to get in and do anything so they just stabilized everything and put a weird contraption into her calf and foot. (picture below)

A few minutes later the nurse came back out and escorted us to see my mom back in the OR. She looked bad like nothing I was expecting. I had never expected to see my mom like that. It was one of the worst things I have even seen or had to deal with. We said hi and I prayed over my mom. We decided to leave and get some sleep and let the nurses take her down to the ICU. (That was Monday)

That night I did not sleep that well. I had a couple hours of good sleep before I woke up in a panic. Levi my moms dog was in the accident and I was really worried about him. We did not know if he was okay so I was really scared what I was going to find the next day. I was not only worried about the dog but about my mom as well. So I tossed and turned for several hours before I just decided to get up.

That day I made a lot of phone calls and received a lot of phone calls. My mom was in the paper her name was not mention but that was soon to come. I called the Bayfield Police office and talked to one of the head guys there. He was very understanding and explained to me what had happened. He answered all my questions and explained to me that my mom went from 60 to at least 105 in a matter of minutes. Then proceeded to drive off of the mountain side, sending herself up in the air and flipping several times till she hit a bob wire fence. At which time she continued to flip and came to a stop landing on the top of the car. The policeman said that they could not even tell there was a person inside of the car. It took 12 men and the jaws of life to get my mom out of the car, and 30 minutes later she was freed. They air flighted her to the Durango hospital.

After hearing all that I was in shock how amazing is our God that he put his angles around her car and protected her with pretty minor hurts compared to what the car looks like! (see below)
(Picture above is of the back of my mom's car)

(Picture above is of the drivers side of my mom's car)

After getting off the phone with the police men I got a phone call from Carolann updating me on what was going on. While I was on the phone Dr. Youseef came into the room and explained what was going to happen during the surgery. Once he found out I was on the phone he asked to speak with me. He wanted to make sure that he answered any questions I might have and explain to me what was going on. Once I got off the phone with him I started getting ready and making some other calls. I arrived at the hospital at around 11:45 am and was escorted back into the OR waiting rooms to wait with my mom and Teresa.

It took them about 15 minutes or so to get all ready to head into surgery. While we where waiting I asked my mom if she did this on purpose? And she replied "oh no, well actually I can't remember anything. But if I did try to God is just not letting me die." Man my heart broke, as mad and upset as I am at this whole situation my heart hurts for her. To think that she truly believes she has nothing to live for. A few minutes later the anasteologist (sp?) came in to get her all ready (by the way he was really good looking but he had a wedding ring on gosh darn it). Once it was time for her to go back to the operating room we said our good byes and prayed over her. She headed off and seriously it was like I was in the show ER. I was not expecting to be emotional at all but as I watched them wheel her off the tears started to flow. I never would have thought I would have to watch this happen to my mom.

Teresa came over and was crying as well as we just hugged. All of the sudden Dr. Youseef was there making sure that I was okay and that all my questions where answered. He then reassured me that everything was going to be okay and that he would have a nurse come out and let me know when they where getting started. We then headed out to the waiting room where Robin was sitting waiting for me. What a huge blessing! After a little while the nurse came out and said that the surgery had started and that all the pre stuff went well. At that point Teresa had to leave to head back home, however Robin stayed. We went down and got some lunch in the cafeteria and then headed back up. About that time the nurse came back out and told us that everything was going okay and that it would be about another hour. Man where those two hours long, thank goodness I had Robin there to be with me.

Once the surgery was over the hot anatesologist (sp?) came back out to let me know that everything went well followed by Dr. Youseef who explained what he did during the surgery and that mom would be in a neck brace for anywhere from 8 weeks to 10 weeks. He was very nice once again and made sure to answer any questions that I had. They but a plate in between disc 5 and 6 which where both broken in her neck. They also had to fix something else in the front that was broken but I can not remember what he called it. After everything was done we went and saw her in ICU where they wanted to keep her for one more night just to make sure everything was okay. (That was Tuesday)

On Wednesday I went to see her after she had some X-Rays done on her foot. The doctor and nurse where in her room getting ready to change her bandage when I arrived with Levi in arms. Man was he cute... when we got into the room he really did not recognize her. He just put his head and ears up straight and was like hey I know you from somewhere that was until she said his name and man did he just light up. He jumped out of my arms into her lap and started licking her face it was the most precious thing in the world. Once that was done I kept my back to the doctor and nurse who where changing her bandages and just held my moms hand and proceeded to ask the doctor questions. That is when he informed me that it would take 10 days to 3 weeks for the swelling to go down and that at that point is when she would have surgery.

So of course I was thinking okay perfect she will be in the hospital till then and everything will be fine. Man was I wrong! I found out shortly after that she would probably be getting out in 2 to 3 days! My jaw dropped to the floor and I kept thinking there is no way they are going to let her out that early. I was like Lord you know that I can't handle this and she has no place to go please work something out.

After that I left for the day and headed home to take a little nap, which when I say little I mean little. :( I was then woken up by my phone ringing! It was my moms social worker calling to talk to me. This turned out to be a total God thing.... I was able to express my concerns to the nice women on the other end and she is going to be very helpful. She agrees that with my mom wanting to commit suicide that her leaving will not be the best thing for her. PRAISE YOU JESUS! That just made my night! :) (That was Wednesday)

Which leaves us with today! I went to the hospital today to visit my mom for about an hour. She is sitting up more and has started physical therapy (which is going to be a very long process to say the least). While I was there we where able to see pictures of what her car looks like thanks to a friend of hers who went to go see the car. It is truly amazing that she is alive! If she does not know that God loves her and has a plan for her life now I don't know what will help her see that. It blew my mind that she made it out alive. Only my God who is a mountain moving God could do that. It was nice to see her more awake and alert. I am not sure how much she will remember tomorrow but we will see. There was some amazing stuff that happened tonight that I will blog about tomorrow!

Sorry that this was such a long post but I needed to get it out. I want it written so that one day my mom can look back and see how much God loves her. That no matter what she has done HE STILL LOVES HER. She is His daughter and He will never leave her side. Never forget that Mom God loves you so much and He has big plans for your future!

Thankful/Grateful Thursdays

2009-06-18T15:51:00.000-07:00

Today I am thankful/grateful for so many things even during the storm I am going through God had been so faithful.... what an AMAZING GOD WE SERVE!

I am thankful that my mom is alive. When you look at the car it is just unbelievable that she made it out alive (more on this to come)

I am thankful for doctors who care for their patents and their families. Dr. Youseef is an amazing man and has taken the time not only to make sure that my mom is comfortable but that I am okay and that all my questions are answered. Dr. Schoo was the same way, he was patient with me and answered any question I had.

I am thankful that God had his angels around the car that night and on the road.

I am thankful that no one else was hurt and that my mom came out with minor injures compared to what she should look like coming out from her car.

I am thankful for the Nurses who care for my mom and who show her love every time they walk into the room.

I am thankful for Laura Robinson who is one of my moms physical therapists as well as all the other amazing people in that department who are there helping my mom get better. And are teaching her how to move once again.

I am thankful for Gods grace in my moms life. That He loves her so much and has a huge purpose for her life.

I am thankful that God is teaching me how to have grace like He does. Even though it is not easy He loves me enough to allow me to mess up and to pick me back up again. He is teaching me how to love my mom through the pain and now to encourage her!

I am thankful for the AMAZING FRIENDS who love me and my mom so much. The friends who wait in the hospital room till 2 in the morning so I can see my mom for the first time. (Jill and Jen) For the friends who send me loving comments on my blog to encourage me how much your words mean I will never be able to express. (Jill, Jo , Jen and Tiff) And also for the friends who have encouraged me on facebook. (to many to name) For the friends who go to lunch with me and wait in the OR waiting room while my mom is in neck surgery and also goes to visit her with me. (Robin) For the friends who have gone to see my mom and send her flowers. Who love her and support her and who are blowing her socks off by showing her the love and support she needs. I am so thankful to all of you for your support through this hard time.

I am thankful for friends who understand when I say I am mad at God or that I am doing really crappy right now. And that they still love me!

I am thankful that God loves me enough to know how much I can handle and when I can't handle it He carriers me through!

I am thankful for my life and that has an amazing plan for ME!

Man when I sat down to write this Thankful Thursday I did not know what I was going to write! It blows my mind how much God loves me and how much I have to be thankful/ grateful for!

Drawing Close!

2009-06-18T10:07:00.000-07:00

In times like these my heart hurts! I want to help my mom but I am also so pissed. I am pissed that she continues to drink and I am hurt that she wants to kill herself!

I wonder what can I do to help her? How can I take the pain away? How can I make her see that she is loved so much?

I wish she could see how much God loves her. I want her to know that she has so much to live for. God has huge plans for her life. I continue to pray that God will show me the boundaries that I need to set and how I can support her.

It is hard because she is my mom however I have to remember that Jesus Died on the Cross for her. For her sins, for her pain, and for her hurt. He wants to carry all this not me. He wants to walk with her through this not me. He wants to show her His love. He wants to take the weight off of my shoulders and carry MY pain, MY hurt, MY tears, My sadness.

When my dad died I did not only lose a father I lost my mother too. I have become the parent and it sucks. I want to scream, yell, hit, kick, and tell her how much she is hurting me. When she is sober she knows and she says she is sorry but the minute she starts drinking again she turns into this whole other person. I have to start living FOR ME! Making decisions FOR ME! This is a huge test of patients, and trust!

Do I have enough patients to wait on God and see His hand move in this situation? Do I trust God enough to heal my mom, to heal me, and my brothers? Do I trust Him enough to know that He only gives me as much as I can handle? Do I trust Him enough to know that He makes everything work out for His glory? Do I trust Him enough to hold me in His arms and never let me go?

Yes I do, it is a moment by moment faith but I DO TRUST YOU LORD! When I got the phone call on Monday night all I wanted was for my daddy to come back and hold me! To tell me that everything is going to be okay! That God is in control and to shelter me from the pain!

I have had many people tell me I don't know how you do this? How do you see her like that? How do you continue to love her through your pain and the pain she has but on you? How do you continue to have strength to keep walking forward?

Well to tell you the truth sometimes I don't sometimes I just want to curl up in a ball in the corner and pray that it will all just go away! But then God gives me the strength to push forward to show me that it is okay to let Him be in control! I continue to pray that if through my trials it brings God glory then bring it on! I can do ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH! Even in the darkest valleys I CAN DO ANYTHING WHEN I HAVE GOD BY MY SIDE!

Thankful Thursdays!

2009-05-28T21:26:00.000-07:00

Today I am thankful for GODS......

- TIMING (He knows what I need when I need it and how I need it. His timing is always better then my own even when I feel like it is taking to long)

-FAITHFULNESS (He will never leave me nor forsake me)

-LOVE (No matter what I do, where I go, what I look like, or the choices I make He loves me NO MATTER WHAT)

-PATIENCE (Even when I do not listen He is there waiting for me to be still and hear His voice)

-GENTLENESS (I am a very stubborn person at times, I know you can't see that in me. But He is always there gently teaching and showing me things and need to do or change)

-DIRECTION (Many times I feel like my life is going just the way I think it should and then all of the sudden He throws a cure ball)